Those of you who are neurodivergent, what's something you wish neurotypicals understood?

[Silent_cries]

Not hating on NT's by any means. Just trying to find ppl to relate to really.

The thing I wish they understood the most is that we're not NT's. Idk if it's just me, but I feel like nt's tend to think that we're capable of doing everything as easily as them and thus gives us the same expectations as other nt's thus making us feel awful about ourselves when we're unable to reach their expectations. It has happened to me anyway. I just wish they'd understand that our brains are wired differently. I'm not going to be able to breeze through my daily chores as easily as a nt and it's not my fault! Like seriously, I rly wish there was a way to get them to understand this. >_<

 

[sserafim]

That being different is not being wrong

 

[Silent_cries]

That being different is not being wrong

I agree with this actually. Tbh I wish pro-lifers would understand this too.

 

[Abyssal]

"we can't call people special needs anymore we have to call them ___" jokes are unfunny and out you as a complete asshole. Stop treating the world's most vulnerable as a challenge to your old fashioned beliefs.

 

[Lirisu]

This is a weird one but, being neurodivergent isn't cute or quirky.

 

[Dark Moon]

Understanding and accepting that I'm different and not typically the norm. I don't perform to society expectations.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

That they should recognize their profoundly good fortune at having been born neurotypical.

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

That we aren't mind readers. If you want something done, be direct about it.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

That some neurodivergent people are living such awful lives due to society that society should owe them euthanasia. Instead of making life harder for neirodivergents, they should try and make it easier

 

[rednights]

That the majority of us are not faking or exaggerating for attention. It does happen, yes, but uneducated people deciding for us what is or is not "real" helps no one.

Makes me want to just keep to myself all the time.

 

[trappedinthislife]

That we don't have full control over who we are. Trust me if I can just be normal I would.

 

[yellowjester]

The burden of having to deal with an autistic person (which is usually no more than a minor inconveniance) is nothing compared to the bruden of being of being an autistic person who's doing everything they can to not be a burden on neurotypicals.

 

[Kavka]

That you shouldn't judge how I'm feeling based on my non-verbal behaviour, how I function, my appearance, or my lack of or incongruent visible emotions. Just listen to what I'm actually saying.

It's so frustrating when I finally work up the courage to say I'm not feeling well, only to have people brush it off because I'm not visibly emotional. I once talked to a "professional" about my suicidal thoughts and the next time I saw her she said I was looking much better and was happy for me, even though I said my circumstances, mood and thoughts were still the same. I'd gotten a haircut and slept well for a few nights, so I probably looked like the handsome guy I can be, but I was so confused by this interaction.

 

[Silent_cries]

I just read everything y'all wrote and holy shit I relate so much! We all really are just misunderstood people :( And yes, being neurodivergent rly is awful. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy!

 

[dietcokecan]

That I'm aware of how hollow and pitiful my existence is and it tears me up inside every moment of every day.

 

[eatantz]

I wish they would believe my suffering, people around me just think I'm being overdramatic when I'm having meltdowns or feeling overstimulated. They act confused when I break down over things they can't comprehend. I wish they would accept the flaws and listen to my voice instead of berating me

 

[sugarb]

Not hating on NT's by any means. Just trying to find ppl to relate to really.

The thing I wish they understood the most is that we're not NT's. Idk if it's just me, but I feel like nt's tend to think that we're capable of doing everything as easily as them and thus gives us the same expectations as other nt's thus making us feel awful about ourselves when we're unable to reach their expectations. It has happened to me anyway. I just wish they'd understand that our brains are wired differently. I'm not going to be able to breeze through my daily chores as easily as a nt and it's not my fault! Like seriously, I rly wish there was a way to get them to understand this. >_<

That ND people expressing symptoms they aren't comfortable with- bad hygiene, clinginess, sensitivity, outbursts and other social faux pas- deserve just as much kindness/empathy as the ND people they like or find entertaining.

NDs aren't completely innocent of this but explaining the idea of "you should try to be as nice to everyone as reasonably possible even if they're an obese low functioning autistic dude with a Sonic plushie who smells like tuna" to some NTs is uncannily similar to talking to a brick wall

 

[ryba]

just because we're "abnormal" doesn't mean we're not still people. especially when people know about it, you either get infantilized or made into a pariah. there's no in between.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

There should be more awareness about level 1 autism. It's a regular disability.
In my country it's classified only as having a 15% work impairment.

 

[Arachno]

That neurodivergence has MANY forms, I feel many people around me don't know this. You know, the whole "you don't look autistic, you don't look like you have ADHD" thing.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

That neurodivergence has MANY forms, I feel many people around me don't know this. You know, the whole "you don't look autistic, you don't look like you have ADHD" thing.

This. People think autism is basically Down syndrome and that's it.

I had cancer and got operated on but you would know by just looking at me.

That sort of talk is neurotypical nonsense which is the masses.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

By definition, we are gonna have repetitive behaviours and restricted interests, or not experience emotions or social cues in a NT way. This might come off as strange, cringey annoying, or even harmful, but we can't help being hyper fixated on a particular topic or sounding like a broken record. I am sure I repeat myself often and my long posts are annoying, but this is how I communicate and I don't really know how to convey my thoughts any other way.

Just because we don't bond in the exact same ways NTs do, or may be uncomfortable with certain types of body language and physical touch, often displaying altered sexuality or dysphoria as well, doesn't make us monsters undeserving of love. At the core of autism is experiencing and processing the world in a way that is fundamentally unique compared to a neurotypical POV. And even then, it varies so much between autistic people, that sweeping generalisations and stereotypes don't really do our struggles justice.

That ND people expressing symptoms they aren't comfortable with- bad hygiene, clinginess, sensitivity, outbursts and other social faux pas- deserve just as much kindness/empathy as the ND people they like or find entertaining.

NDs aren't completely innocent of this but explaining the idea of "you should try to be as nice to everyone as reasonably possible even if they're an obese low functioning autistic dude with a Sonic plushie who smells like tuna" to some NTs is uncannily similar to talking to a brick wall

Unfortunately the latter type of autistic person is often propped up as a laughing stock/lolcow for NT people to humiliate and mock. Think of Chris Chan type figures who get manipulated and beated down for years for entertainment, then everyone wonders why they completely lost the plot as of recently. They were harassed for years and no one cared because the wider society thinks it's amusing to harass autistic people if we are "cringe" and have "childish" interests like anime or games.

 

[sugarb]

By definition, we are gonna have repetitive behaviours and restricted interests, or not experience emotions or social cues in a NT way. This might come off as strange, cringey annoying, or even harmful, but we can't help being hyper fixated on a particular topic or sounding like a broken record. I am sure I repeat myself often and my long posts are annoying, but this is how I communicate and I don't really know how to convey my thoughts any other way.

Just because we don't bond in the exact same ways NTs do, or may be uncomfortable with certain types of body language and physical touch, often displaying altered sexuality or dysphoria as well, doesn't make us monsters undeserving of love. At the core of autism is experiencing and processing the world in a way that is fundamentally unique compared to a neurotypical POV. And even then, it varies so much between autistic people, that sweeping generalisations and stereotypes don't really do our struggles justice.



Unfortunately the latter type of autistic person is often propped up as a laughing stock/lolcow for NT people to humiliate and mock. Think of Chris Chan type figures who get manipulated and beated down for years for entertainment, then everyone wonders why they completely lost the plot as of recently. They were harassed for years and no one cared because the wider society thinks it's amusing to harass autistic people if we are "cringe" and have "childish" interests like anime or games.

No worries, I like reading and writing long posts. Easier to get all the thoughts out that way.

Anywho-

I often wonder why there's so little activism on behalf of autistics.

I mean, we really have a shit time of it. Here're some disturbing statistics I saw-

Suicide - Autism research | Autistica | Autistica

Autistica is funding research to understand suicidality in autism

www.autistica.org.uk

"Studies have shown that up to 66% of autistic adults have thought about taking their own life, and an alarming 35% have attempted suicide. Around 1% of people in the UK are autistic, yet up to 15% of people hospitalised after attempting suicide have a diagnosis of autism."

Case in point- you and I on this website.

Mortality in Individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Predictors over a 20-Year Period

Research has shown that individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) have higher rates of health problems throughout childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, and that this may result in elevated risk of early mortality. The present study reported the ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

"There is a small but growing literature suggesting than individuals with ASD may have an increased risk of mortality compared to the general population (Woolfenden et al. 2012). For example, in a Danish cohort of 341 individuals with ASD followed from 1960 to 2006, individuals with ASD died at twice the expected rate of the general population (Mouridesen et al., 2008). In this study, there were no differences in mortality risk between those with ASD and intellectual disability (ID) compared to those with ASD without ID, with frequent causes of death including epilepsy, infectious diseases, and accidents."

Evidence That Nine Autistic Women Out of Ten Have Been Victims of Sexual Violence

Research indicates that sexual violence affects about 30% of women in the general population and between two to three times as much for autistic women.We investigated prevalence of sexual abuse, autistic traits and a range of symptoms, using an online ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

"Research indicates that sexual violence affects about 30% of women in the general population and between two to three times as much for autistic women."

That's roughly 6 to 9 out of 10. Happened to my girlfriend. Absolutely revolting numbers.

Survey finds 63% of children with autism bullied

Certain behavioral traits or school policies may contribute to high bullying rates among children with autism, researchers said

www.cbsnews.com

"63% of children with autism bullied."

Again- absolutely revolting.

Loneliness and Autism: The Invisible Issue — Psychology Chartered

The 17th to the 21st June marks Loneliness Awareness Week in the UK; a week aimed at reducing stigma around loneliness and helping people to connect. Loneliness has been suggested to be as harmful to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and can have an enormous impact on our physical...

psychologychartered.co.uk

"Autistic people are four times more likely to be lonely than the neurotypical population and as many as 79% of autistic people report feeling socially isolated."

No surprise there.

Related- autistics often struggle with dating and intimacy to some degree or another due to lacking NT social skills. In American culture, where romance and sex are extremely visible and set as a requirement to be normal, this is doubly painful. Autistic floundering in that sea of ambiguity is quickly labeled weird, clingy, crazy, a red flag, incel-ish, creepy, etc.

In light of all this- why is no-one marching for us?

 

[untothedepths]

I'm sorry if im not answering the question directly, but its been what I think about, and its what ill have to face yet again.... I wish I knew why some people just naturally hate me. Like, I get Im ugly looking and I come off as awkward, but Ill not even exchange over 50 words with someone else and they'll just treat me differently from other people. It hurts, so much. Its not that I even want to be friends with everyone, i just dont like how im 100% they hate me. Its their tone, the way they look at me, the way they always seem angry if i even say one thing. its not like at that point i want to even be around them, im pretty much forced to sometimes.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Dear NTs: me being quiet, introverted, and not being able to socialize much doesn't mean I don't like you or think I'm better than you. I've been mistaken for being an arrogant, stuck-up person so many times in life just because I can't socialize normally, when in fact I have quite low self-esteem.

 

[Saturn_]

I would rather be called a slur than be told I "have the silly wacky evil stimmy autism". Like I would genuinely take less offense to the former than the latter. It feels grossly patronizing to me. Reminds me of how my special ed teachers would talk down to me and pretend to take interest in what I would talk about. This weird TikTok zoomer baby talk makes me so uncomfortable. I also hate when I have told people online that I am autistic, and they INSIST on using tone indicators on me, and they label all my interests as "hyperfixations" -- God I hate that word so much. It just takes the passion and the life out of what I love. Why can't I just say I like this thing, or I love that thing? An emotion as pure and simple as interest or passion ISN'T a symptom to a broader issue. We can often be more passionate about our interests, but it feels weirdly... segregating that what I like has to have an entirely new label than from what everyone else likes.

I don't really feel comforted by online autistic spaces either, at least nowadays. Many of them operate off of the same arbitrary social norms and hierarchies like everywhere else, and are breeding grounds for masking, insecurity and social anxiety. They preach diversity and self-expression, yet you are encouraged to think and talk and act the exact same way. They operate in strict uniformity and the soapbox pleads for individuality are merely a smokescreen. If you don't, you aren't just weird, oh no no -- you're unforgivable. You did something horrible. People should cut ties with you because there is no room for improvement, and you're forcefully exiled from your support network. So I don't feel comforted by neurotypicals, nor my own neurodivergent siblings, sadly.

 

[scarlet-pixie]

I really wish people would just listen to the words that i'm actually saying.
Feels far too common that people just straight up ignore me, or insert their own meaning onto my words, and then of course when things naturally go awry because of it it's always my fault.