This will be my last birthday

[samarah988]

this is my last year to fulfill all my fantasies and dreams.



hi everyone. its kinda nice theres a forum for this, its been hard keeping all these thoughts and plans to myself. its my birthday today. i turn 22. january 13. i was supposed to be dead at 16 and haven't accounted or seen myself past. i wont be here for 23 and i have decided. 21 was already pushing it, and 23 due to personal reasons is an evil number that makes me remember. i have been rotting and overdosing in the same bed by myself hiding in my own trauma and isolation. i never learned how to drive. i keep having to repeat all of my courses in a two year community college program bc im so lazy and retarded. this is getting too old, everyone is tired of me. i am getting too old, idc what anyone says.





i always wanted to matter and be adored by everyone. i wanted to be in clubs in ibiza doing lines and getting attention from eveyone. i want to live by myself. i want to be able to drive. i want to leave the house when i want and have rights. i promised in spite to my family i would be the richest amongst all of them. i want to buy prada and wear beautiful fabrics. i want them to take professional photos of me. i want boys to take me on shopping sprees. i want to be beautiful and thin enough and have surgery. i want to party with artists in london. i want to be wanted by everyone. i want everyone to want me. i want to blow up.



can any of these, any, happen before im 23? whats the best course of action? what would u do? thank you for anyone reading.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Happy Birthday! I hope something good happens for you today.

 

[BlissfulEnigma]

Your best course of action would to pursue what YOU want, not what other people expect from you. It's clear that your lifestyle is creating a lot of issues for you, so expose yourself to different things and you may find an abundance of success. Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck. And please please don't compare yourself to others, you'll live a much better life if you don't think about it.

 

[darksouls]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY , I wish you the best

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Happy Birthday

 

[Sphinxi]

You can literally just go to clubs in the city and meet people right? I might be out of touch, but you can just go to gallery openings and live the lifestyle you describe, no?

 

[Realog11]

this is my last year to fulfill all my fantasies and dreams.



hi everyone. its kinda nice theres a forum for this, its been hard keeping all these thoughts and plans to myself. its my birthday today. i turn 22. january 13. i was supposed to be dead at 16 and haven't accounted or seen myself past. i wont be here for 23 and i have decided. 21 was already pushing it, and 23 due to personal reasons is an evil number that makes me remember. i have been rotting and overdosing in the same bed by myself hiding in my own trauma and isolation. i never learned how to drive. i keep having to repeat all of my courses in a two year community college program bc im so lazy and retarded. this is getting too old, everyone is tired of me. i am getting too old, idc what anyone says.





i always wanted to matter and be adored by everyone. i wanted to be in clubs in ibiza doing lines and getting attention from eveyone. i want to live by myself. i want to be able to drive. i want to leave the house when i want and have rights. i promised in spite to my family i would be the richest amongst all of them. i want to buy prada and wear beautiful fabrics. i want them to take professional photos of me. i want boys to take me on shopping sprees. i want to be beautiful and thin enough and have surgery. i want to party with artists in london. i want to be wanted by everyone. i want everyone to want me. i want to blow up.



can any of these, any, happen before im 23? whats the best course of action? what would u do? thank you for anyone reading.

I won't attend my last birthday as I'm ctb lol