Venting This really has no point but now this is the only place I can talk

[PoisonedJuliet]

Today was a really tough day for me. I can't really talk to my friends about this shit anymore because they have shown me they have their own stuff to deal with and they get too involved. They have taken anything and everything I could have used to hurt myself away from me. (Except my fists and toothbrush) I haven't felt this alone in a long time. I'm really exhausted from a day of acting okay. I just don't want to do this anymore. I really don't. I am so sick of life and trying to reach for something that might never get here. I really hope therapy will help because I can't even ctb now. I just want to escape. I'm so done. This is the only place I can get understanding and support now. By no means do I want to take attention away from those in need of support and love more than myself. I just thought writing this would make me feel a bit better

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

How'd they take the stuff away from you? Did you ask them to? Did you consent to it, or did they forcefully do it?

The constant facade and lonliness I can completely relate to. Just remember, we are always here for you whether it be to chat, suspend your facade for even a moment, or anything you need help with. You can find great friends and support here. Do you want to talk about what's happened? Venting for me helps very much.

 

[Lostnotfound]

Today was a really tough day for me. I can't really talk to my friends about this shit anymore because they have shown me they have their own stuff to deal with and they get too involved. They have taken anything and everything I could have used to hurt myself away from me. (Except my fists and toothbrush) I haven't felt this alone in a long time. I'm really exhausted from a day of acting okay. I just don't want to do this anymore. I really don't. I am so sick of life and trying to reach for something that might never get here. I really hope therapy will help because I can't even ctb now. I just want to escape. I'm so done. This is the only place I can get understanding and support now. By no means do I want to take attention away from those in need of support and love more than myself. I just thought writing this would make me feel a bit better

Ive no words to make it right but i feel your pain and Im sorry

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

How'd they take the stuff away from you? Did you ask them to? Did you consent to it, or did they forcefully do it?

The constant facade and lonliness I can completely relate to. Just remember, we are always here for you whether it be to chat, suspend your facade for even a moment, or anything you need help with. You can find great friends and support here. Do you want to talk about what's happened? Venting for me helps very much.

Thank you So some of the stuff I gave to them when I was feeling better then I instantly regretted it and after I gave them some stuff they came over to my dorm and took my stuff. I didn't want them to take stuff but I just sat there bewildered and having a panic attack. I beg them for my stuff back but they refuse. I feel like a child. They are constantly checking in on me and try to make sure I'm not alone or by myself for long periods of time. I hate it. It just makes things worse. I love them and I know they care and want to help but they are making things worse. I'm just really afraid I'm going to try something impulsive that won't ever work (because they took my reliable stuff away) and then end myself up in the hospital with even more people watching me

 

[Lostandfound7]

We r here for u honey..

Who is "more" in need of love n support than u? Feel free to vent..

Sending u love and support

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

We r here for u honey..

Who is "more" in need of love n support than u? Feel free to vent..

Sending u love and support

No I just feel like I don't deserve to have support when other peoples situations could be even worse than mine. I don't want to attract attention when someone else could be in a bigger need of support than me. Thank you for this though. It means a lot just for you to respond

 

[Lostandfound7]

No I just feel like I don't deserve to have support when other peoples situations could be even worse than mine. I don't want to attract attention when someone else could be in a bigger need of support than me. Thank you for this though. It means a lot just for you to respond

Never minimize YOUR pain cuz someone else's may b greater
..your pain is YOUR pain..
Just cuz someone else may b going thru something worse, does it make ur pain any betta? Nope..There's always gonna b someone going thru something worse..But u still feel yours..

U Def deserve the support my Love..U matter too!

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

Thank you So some of the stuff I gave to them when I was feeling better then I instantly regretted it and after I gave them some stuff they came over to my dorm and took my stuff. I didn't want them to take stuff but I just sat there bewildered and having a panic attack. I beg them for my stuff back but they refuse. I feel like a child. They are constantly checking in on me and try to make sure I'm not alone or by myself for long periods of time. I hate it. It just makes things worse. I love them and I know they care and want to help but they are making things worse. I'm just really afraid I'm going to try something impulsive that won't ever work (because they took my reliable stuff away) and then end myself up in the hospital with even more people watching me

You said dorm, so I presume you're in college? You're friends obviously do not respect your boundaries, nor your views. You deserve to not be treated as a patient by your friends. I'm glad you've started using the forum, it's a great way to meet equals, and grow your support system. Imo, you need more people that you can talk to as equals, and bond. Do you have any family or loved ones you can talk to? Hugs!

 

[painoflife]

No I just feel like I don't deserve to have support when other peoples situations could be even worse than mine. I don't want to attract attention when someone else could be in a bigger need of support than me. Thank you for this though. It means a lot just for you to respond

You need to know that YOU MATTER!
Yes other people have things going on in their life too but it is not a competition for getting care and help, there is plenty of love on this forum for everybody who needs it, especially when you are brave enough to ask for it.
Don't put yourself down. I am here if you ever want to talk or even just vent

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

You said dorm, so I presume you're in college? You're friends obviously do not respect your boundaries, nor your views. You deserve to not be treated as a patient by your friends. I'm glad you've started using the forum, it's a great way to meet equals, and grow your support system. Imo, you need more people that you can talk to as equals, and bond. Do you have any family or loved ones you can talk to? Hugs!

Yes I'm in college. They did overstep their boundaries a little but I know they care. I just can't talk to them about this anymore because it's just fucking my life up even more. I really just want to be treated normally again. I don't want to be treated as a child who needs to be looked after. I have family but they live in a different state. Plus if I told them they would get really involved. They know to some extent I have mental health issues but they don't know how bad it is

You need to know that YOU MATTER!
Yes other people have things going on in their life too but it is not a competition for getting care and help, there is plenty of love on this forum for everybody who needs it, especially when you are brave enough to ask for it.
Don't put yourself down. I am here if you ever want to talk or even just vent

Thank you so much. I knew that the forum would cheer me up I'm so glad I found this place because without it I would feel impossibly alone. You guys are so so kind. Thank you so much

That goes for you too @Lostandfound7. Thank you for the love and support. Thanks also for the kind words