I read all your comments. The exchange of such ideas is completely prohibited where i live and i suppose it's like that everywhere where there is a society of conformity, which is everywhere. The internet has many critics but it's beautiful for circumnavigating conventional thought.
I don't hate life either, but just my existential reality poses too many problems in dealing with it for too long and i'm fed up with this shit after 30 years of it, much of the time. Messed up relationships, expectations and hopes turning out negatively (yes, of course it's a earning experience that makes one stronger haha). Faith in people being misguided and general misanthropy, fear, anxiety and depression, lack of empathy and isolation etc. I end up constantly moving on.
By now my guiding impression from travel experience is that most people are brainwashed consumer sheep who conform to the herd instinct, naturally malicious and narrow minded and have the capacity for generosity and kindness as long as it doesn't interfere with their herd mentality. If it does then watch out. There are many classic studies in psychology of how people behave under pressure from their peers, at least in the west.
I found this definition of quixotic.. foolishly
impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially
: marked by
rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly
chivalrous action
I was more meaning it as contradictory, perhaps impulsive. In any case these words impractical, rash and chivalrous are what makes us human and not robots eh. Dostoyevsky said that it's the human right of someone to exercise their right to be perverse.