plast1c_sk1n
no longer human
- Jul 4, 2024
- 42
When everyone irl tries to tell me the way I think isn't normal, that nobody else thinks this way, that therapy will fix it, I feel like I'm going crazy. It makes me lose any hope at all to get better when even searching online for help results in nothing because apparently I'm the only one thinking the way I do & worrying about things that nobody else has ever worried about. I've seriously been told "I think you're the only person to have ever thought this" "I don't think anyone else has had this thought before" and I feel like I'm losing my mind. How could I possibly be the only one when there's billions of people alive and endless more that lived in the past. It makes me think there was just some sort of freak biological accident when I was born. I mean maybe there was but when I think about this community I feel a bit better and can reassure myself that I'm not alone. I know there are people here who are like me. The kind of person who doesn't understand what it means to have a "will to live" or why everyone seems to want to live so much. The kind of person who could have a perfect life and still want to die.
I've been having lots of interesting conversations with a close friend of mine recently. She understands me in a lot of ways, we relate to each other a lot and help each other not feel crazy. But sometimes I tell her something that makes even her say I'm the only person who has ever thought this way. I keep wanting to say "I know there's other people who think the same as me. A whole online community for people with unconventional outlooks on life and death." But I don't know how she'd react to this website. Maybe she's already heard of it, who knows. I can tell her lots of thoughts that would definitely make other people uncomfortable with me but this might be too much even for her. I wonder. (I also often think of mentioning the time I spent on shedtwt in the past but I know that's much more mainstream and has a horrible reputation so that's definitely not happening at least any time soon). Maybe some day I'll tell her about this place though. Not the name but just to say there are so many people across the globe who think like me.
I've been having lots of interesting conversations with a close friend of mine recently. She understands me in a lot of ways, we relate to each other a lot and help each other not feel crazy. But sometimes I tell her something that makes even her say I'm the only person who has ever thought this way. I keep wanting to say "I know there's other people who think the same as me. A whole online community for people with unconventional outlooks on life and death." But I don't know how she'd react to this website. Maybe she's already heard of it, who knows. I can tell her lots of thoughts that would definitely make other people uncomfortable with me but this might be too much even for her. I wonder. (I also often think of mentioning the time I spent on shedtwt in the past but I know that's much more mainstream and has a horrible reputation so that's definitely not happening at least any time soon). Maybe some day I'll tell her about this place though. Not the name but just to say there are so many people across the globe who think like me.
