This place is so empowering! Thank you so much!!!

[themethod]

I will try not to make this too longwinded but I am just so thankful for making the decision to search for a place like this... it was scary wondering if it would just be all doom and gloom and I guess that put me off... more and more I have been having these f'ed up dreams not because I know at some point I will have to CTB, I'm fine with that but more not knowing how I'll do it and get it right is what was tormenting me... i already know now since joining the SN method is the one for me and as soon as its aloud and someone is nice enough to PM the IC source info I will make the purchase and start to put the others in place... I know with the information and knowledge of the genuine people here I'm smart enough to get this right first time! I don't have a date yet, but sooner or later the day is immenent so having a method and an answer to those horrible feelings is just so empowering... today I told my mum (the only person in the world i will tell) my plans, shes 71, has had cancer twice and has serious heart issues and was only in hospital a few days ago for it... I would like to try and hang on until she passes but i made no promises but she knows my issues as well as i do and i know it causes her so much stress and worry especially financially when shes gone... she feels like she needs to scrimp to leave me money when its really not important with my decision making and where i am in life it will buy only more time before the inevitable so i feel like telling her has and will really take this horrible stress off her and let her enjoy the time she has left more... i do feel my perfect time will be within days of her going!
Another cool little thing now im getting my self sorted for the ride is i smoke a lot of cbd as it really helps me cope day to day and always get paranoid about getting lung or mouth cancer and now i dont have to give an F just an added little bonus
So clearly I lied about making it short and i know lots of people look down on places like this but I just really wanted to say thanks to the owners and all the genuine people who for their own reasons understand my choice and how I feel better about my existence and death now Im taking the steps and time to put a solid exit plan in place than I have for years now!

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm pleased for you that you found this place to be beneficial, I guess that after all it's important for people to be able to access suicide method information so that they don't suffer more from attempting an very unreliable method. But anyway best wishes.

 

[themethod]

I'm pleased for you that you found this place to be beneficial, I guess that after all it's important for people to be able to access suicide method information so that they don't suffer more from attempting an very unreliable method. But anyway best wishes.

Thank you as i said those dreams have been bothering me for a while now... it was the fear of not having control over not knowing how i would do it when the inevitable day comes... i dont know when but i know its coming and not being prepared and having a method that made sense was really fucking with my head! Definitely feels great to have the control back!