"this might be my last christmas, this might be my last this... this might be my last that..." i hate those thoughts

[SufferingInDenmark]

the closer oyu get to suicide, you start thinking about "damn this might be my last time to experience snow" and whatever other things you experience,
all the time.
it happens a lot and i hate those thoughts.

 

[DeathByBananabread]

it makes me feel so sick. i'm an atheist but it gets to the point i start subconsciously thinking of the afterlife as a real thing without realizing it, as a coping mechanism that completely overrides my usual sense of self.