Venting This loneliness is driving me insane…

[sadlyexisting]

I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lonely, I literally have no one but my parents. I have no friends. I only have "friends" at university and no contact with them otherwise. I can't talk to anyone. Everyone that I thought cared about me once turned out to be someone who just used me for their own gain.
I'm sitting in my room 24/7 wasting my life away. I'm smoking, drinking a lot of caffeine, and destroying my body with whatever I can get my hands on at this point. But nothing seems to help me get rid of these horrible feelings and loneliness.
I think it's partly my fault that I'm so lonely, too. I push everyone away from me, even when I don't want to and I feel like I don't deserve any friends.
It just hurts so much to know you have nothing to look forward to, no one you can talk to, no one that understands you. I have no one to care about me. I'm just a person that's waiting to die, with no one being there for me, slowly going insane because of my own emotions.
I hate myself and my life.

 

[bed]

i resonate with this a lot. I have felt alone for years now besides some small moments. I don't really have anyone in my life to turn to besides my sister but she is busy and i dont want to overwhelm her with my issues. besides her no one really cares about me in my life. i feel alone all the time. even when i used to be with people in the past i'd feel alone with them and sometimes that just felt worse.
i also just sit in my room wasting away doing nothing just hoping to get by, moment by moment because i can't cope.
i'm really sorry you're in this position and i hope one day you'll find someone who you're able to be your true self with <3

 

[aWeeBitTired]

I wish I could say something to help your suffering, I really do. I resonate with how you feel. Every night I feel cold in an empty bed, I speak such little words each day, and I feel further and further from my friends today.

Keep reaching out, it's what I do. I can't say it'll help but it's worth a shot.

 

[theboy]

I understand that you want to avoid loneliness by destroying your body by consuming that kind of stuff but it's not the solution. I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time. No one really wants to feel alone in this life.

 

[LunarCharm]

I understand exactly how you feel, I'm in the same boat
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, friend

 

[MBG]

Um, most universities have PLENTY of clubs and activities to join (chess club, intramural sports, various dance clubs, religious groups). Plus there are local recreation centers and non school based groups too (book clubs, hiking clubs, running clubs, private gyms with group exercise classes).

Don't expect strangers to show up at your door wanting to be your friends. You've got to get out and meet them!

Your life is what you make of it.

ETA: Oops! Just saw the "Venting" tag. I apologized for giving advice rather than just listening.