I just came down to my moms to spend a couple days with family and I feel so heavy. Everyone is smiling and happy and excited and I'm laying in bed with tears in my eyes knowing this will be the last Christmas I will ever spend with them, and they have no idea. It's such a weird feeling. But I'm so ready to CTB. I can't stop thinking about the relief I will feel when I'm dead. But I also feel so guilty.
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darkest
Trapped in this cycle, a figure of eight
- Feb 2, 2024
- 40
I get you, it's also my last as well and I get that feeling.
I guess all I can tell you is that I think it'd be a lot better if you try to only focus on the present moment and having fun as much as you can, who knows what's next? no need to care about that. only care about the now until the time comes, hope you find your peace. <3
I guess all I can tell you is that I think it'd be a lot better if you try to only focus on the present moment and having fun as much as you can, who knows what's next? no need to care about that. only care about the now until the time comes, hope you find your peace. <3
KillingPain267
Enlightened
- Apr 15, 2024
- 1,572
Same. If I get my tools for my method I will be gone in 2025.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 39,529
Ceasing to exist would be a relief for me as well, I understand just wanting to be free from suffering. But anyway I wish you the best.
Yeah, I feel you. This is my last Christmas as well. A part of me is sad, so I can definitely sympathize with you there. I'm just preparing myself, though. I don't think anyone will really miss me, so I'm fortunate there. I love my few friends and family, but it's just time for me to go. I do understand how you feel, though. It reads like you're close to your family, and don't want to hurt them. I really have no words of comfort to offer. Only internet hugs to give. I hope you try and enjoy your last moments with them. I hope you can find solace in knowing that you've brought joy to them while you were here. And whether you do it or not, I wish you serenity and peace. 
Davey36000
I'm not the dog in the picture
- Jun 12, 2023
- 324
ShatteredSerenity
I talk to God, but the sky is empty.
- Nov 24, 2024
- 310
I'm feeling a lot of the same things right now. It's a hard time to CTB.
OptingOutSmiling
Student
- Nov 25, 2024
- 189
I understand why you're so emotional. I feel the same and even if I may end up not ctb soon, this will also be my last days in my country. Sending you love
