I feel the same as this guy. I have to live with my consequences.
I feel the same as this guy. I have to live with my consequences.
Sorry to state the obvious but- you can't change what you've done in the past- asides from apologise. If you realise you've behaved inappropriately though and it haunts you- you can try your best not to do it again. Maybe try and ask yourself why you behaved like that. And if you still get the urge to behave the same way- what you might need to do to stop it. That's all any of us can do- try and learn from our mistakes.
If you think it's ingrained into your personality and you're powerless to resist it, I guess that's more tricky. Put it this way though- I'm sure that I am prone to limerance (obsessive crushes on people.) I sort of feel ashamed about it but then- I also don't think it's entirely my fault. These sorts of things quite often develop because our childhoods are troubled.
Anyhow- I know it's something that longterm isn't at all healthy for my mental state. It can be so tempting to start obsessing about someone- because part of it is nice. Still- now, I tend to nip it in the bud. I tell myself- this isn't actually real. I have natural desires I guess to want a partner but creating some ridiculous fantasy around someone doesn't do me any favours. I convince myself I am in love with them and grab ahold of any crumbs they throw me. When- I have to acknowledge that- they are just crumbs. No point in investing all that emotion into castles in the air.
We can't have complete control over our thoughts- although it is our choice to keep obsessing over them. It is something we can fight. Obviously- we do have control over our actions. While of course, we want to feel relaxed enough around people that we're not constantly checking our behaviour- if you truly believe you have done and continue to do unpleasant things- then, maybe you need to think before you act a little more.
If you think it's ingrained into your personality and you're powerless to resist it, I guess that's more tricky. Put it this way though- I'm sure that I am prone to limerance (obsessive crushes on people.) I sort of feel ashamed about it but then- I also don't think it's entirely my fault. These sorts of things quite often develop because our childhoods are troubled.
Anyhow- I know it's something that longterm isn't at all healthy for my mental state. It can be so tempting to start obsessing about someone- because part of it is nice. Still- now, I tend to nip it in the bud. I tell myself- this isn't actually real. I have natural desires I guess to want a partner but creating some ridiculous fantasy around someone doesn't do me any favours. I convince myself I am in love with them and grab ahold of any crumbs they throw me. When- I have to acknowledge that- they are just crumbs. No point in investing all that emotion into castles in the air.
We can't have complete control over our thoughts- although it is our choice to keep obsessing over them. It is something we can fight. Obviously- we do have control over our actions. While of course, we want to feel relaxed enough around people that we're not constantly checking our behaviour- if you truly believe you have done and continue to do unpleasant things- then, maybe you need to think before you act a little more.
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