Venting This is definitely not the easy way out!

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm trying to get some things sorted and none of these details/decisions are simple or easy.

I don't want to involve anyone until after I'm gone. At all. I can write delayed emails but there are some things that need to be done without email and I can't figure out how, yet.

My family lives hours away from here and don't have any contact with the people I'm leaving behind here. (I wouldn't call them friends after how I treat them). I want them to have some of my things that only they can appreciate, things that really should be taken care of. Do I leave them on one of their doorsteps in the middle of the night before I ctb?

The people I'm leaving behind here are religious but will not be involved in my funeral (I don't think - i'm not sure how to find out) so my family won't "need" them for my final arrangements. But, everyone's under the impression I'm up here, finally happy surrounded by friends and faith. And they know how important it was to me. And I know the people here would need to say goodbye if they can. Do I bother letting them contact each other or suggest they not?

And, the one thing racking my brain right now is the first alert. I don't want any of the emails I'm sending to require someone to call 911. They'll have enough to deal with. I've been trying to find an email for the city's emergency responders but there isn't anything that's not a form on their sites. In place of sending an email, how can I make sure I'm not left for days/weeks? Really, no one would ever know if I wasn't the one letting someone know I'm gone.

I know I'm overthinking things. It does feel good to be in a position to make these decisions. I like that it's almost over. It's just not soon enough.

And this is definitely NOT the easy way out.

 

[socrates]

CTB is certainly no the easy way out. I don't know about leaving things on people door steps at night. I don't know where you live, but the last thing you want is for them to be stolen, or suppose you get caught. Mailing may be a good option, but also a pricey one, depending on what your shipping.

Emailing emergency services seems weird to me tbh. Maybe this is just the moves talking, but maybe you could rig some kinda dead man switch. I wonder if you could text 911 these days?

Good luck with what ever you choose.

 

[PJFord]

Thank you for this post! Definitely on my mind. I live alone. My neighbors are just casual hello's. I resigned from my job a month ago. I have a few friends but no one physically close to my apartment. I talk with my siblings often but sometimes weeks go by. My parents are long deceased. I could literally be dead in my apartment for weeks and no one would know.

The procedure I'm planning is the day I CTB I'll send a letter to the mortuary that has my cremation contract. I'll ask them to call my number (in case I survive) and if no answer to call the police and/or 911 to come retrieve my body. I will have notes in my apartment for contacting my siblings.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Thank you for this post! Definitely on my mind. I live alone. My neighbors are just casual hello's. I resigned from my job a month ago. I have a few friends but no one physically close to my apartment. I talk with my siblings often but sometimes weeks go by. My parents are long deceased. I could literally be dead in my apartment for weeks and no one would know.

The procedure I'm planning is the day I CTB I'll send a letter to the mortuary that has my cremation contract. I'll ask them to call my number (in case I survive) and if no answer to call the police and/or 911 to come retrieve my body. I will have notes in my apartment for contacting my siblings.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one trying to figure this stuff out, or rather, not having any clue how to figure this stuff out. I have nothing like a cremation contract. I did have a thought: my brother has a best friend who's a cop - with training and who would have mt family's interest at heart. I could email him by delay... two birds?!

It's either this or which person do I want to crush the most. Answer: none. At least not with that email.

 

[TAW122]

CTB is almost never an easy decision. From overcoming the SI, finding the proper method (in terms of reliability, availability, comfort, and other factors), getting all affairs and loose ends tied, and then during the whole process remaining hidden and quiet (without setting off red flags or getting caught) until the final moment. If anything, I fully empathize and relate to you and anyone that claims CTB is easy is simply ignorant of all the factors and process involved.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

@thrw_a_way1221221 Thanks for the reply.

You just made me realise the irony of my entire life! Haha

I've never had to want for things and have never had people to figure into any decision. Now, I don't have any other concern accept for people and how these decisions will affect them. And I truly don't want to hurt them - by living or dying. How ironic...

 

[so tired or manic]

I know there's options for domestic abuse reasons some places to be able to text authorities.