L
LivingToLong
Experienced
- Feb 23, 2019
- 259
Well, not literally speaking but kind of...
I originally signed up here for the purposes of research, not just methods but also discussion around the subject of suicide. I am suicidal (hello, my name is not LivingToLong and I am suicidal) and I want out for myself and I want to see the path made simpler and less taboo for others.
I found the information I wanted (the link to the PP handbook was an unexpected find) and I read more about the other methods, and the successes and attempts. I found the reality of suicide (from testimony, pics and videos) to be quite chilling and so I stepped back from the edge. I began to read the stories behind the desires to cbt (an acronym I learnt from here btw), and I have been sincerely moved by the anguish and pain expressed.
I've found the discussion and openness in this forum to be liberating. As I've said elsewhere, my partner is not supportive (I'm not critical of them for that either, I understand) so I've not otherwise found an outlet for the 'things that must not be said'. I don't use social media of any form and my forays onto forums have always been for research purposes; I've never lingered nor been a part of the community. Tbh, I found the notion of 'community' in an anonymous internet forum to be an abstract one, one that I don't understand. In fact, I was dismissive of it. I thought - in my ignorance - there could be no such thing.
However, by gauging my reactions to this place, I have realised I am wrong. I've become engaged in reading the discussions and almost eager to take part in some. Life has sparked in me since joining up. So thank you, thank you to every single one of you who contribute to this place and make it what it is.
I originally signed up here for the purposes of research, not just methods but also discussion around the subject of suicide. I am suicidal (hello, my name is not LivingToLong and I am suicidal) and I want out for myself and I want to see the path made simpler and less taboo for others.
I found the information I wanted (the link to the PP handbook was an unexpected find) and I read more about the other methods, and the successes and attempts. I found the reality of suicide (from testimony, pics and videos) to be quite chilling and so I stepped back from the edge. I began to read the stories behind the desires to cbt (an acronym I learnt from here btw), and I have been sincerely moved by the anguish and pain expressed.
I've found the discussion and openness in this forum to be liberating. As I've said elsewhere, my partner is not supportive (I'm not critical of them for that either, I understand) so I've not otherwise found an outlet for the 'things that must not be said'. I don't use social media of any form and my forays onto forums have always been for research purposes; I've never lingered nor been a part of the community. Tbh, I found the notion of 'community' in an anonymous internet forum to be an abstract one, one that I don't understand. In fact, I was dismissive of it. I thought - in my ignorance - there could be no such thing.
However, by gauging my reactions to this place, I have realised I am wrong. I've become engaged in reading the discussions and almost eager to take part in some. Life has sparked in me since joining up. So thank you, thank you to every single one of you who contribute to this place and make it what it is.