this forum is all i have now

[dumdumdedum]

i used to be sunny and a bright eyed sweet innocent person

now, i have nothing

i'm on this forum constantly, reading, looking for more

is it morbid? does misery seek company?

 

[Canon1]

Same here, I feel like this is my last project or my last forum that i enter.

 

[ninthhokage]

I feel the same way.

 

[Canon1]

For years i have been on forums but recently i haven't done anything like that because i was happy with my gf. Now she has been gone for about 2 weeks and i can't live this way and have found this forum.

 

[noctiva]

You're not alone @dumdumdedum, I am in the same situation. Life was really good until a few months ago, really really good. And now it is a nightmare, every minute of every day. Friends don't have time to be there anymore because I should get over my problems already, been so long... So this forum is all the social contact I have now in my life, and it keeps me in a dark place (as I want it to be, so I ctb).

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

This is the only place where I feel like I fit in, in the entirety of my miserable existence. Also the only place where I can be honest.

 

[Canon1]

This is the only place where I feel like I fit in, in the entirety of my miserable existence. Also the only place where I can be honest.

Same here. Very wise words

 

[Quax]

This forum is kind of last resort for me....here I can speak almost freely, don't have to hide that I'm suicidal....and most important.... I'm not alone.... thank you to this great community...

 

[TheLastGoodbye]

I feel the same. Hope things get better for u

 

[dumdumdedum]

my so left me. all the time spent, the dreams shattered, the regret, the lifelong depression, self-hatred, failure, has led to this moment.

i am ready to go.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Same. I used to be on Fb and Ig and now only come here everyday.

 

[awfullife]

You aren't alone dumdumdedum. I spend alot of time here as well. I just made too many poor decisions to come back from.

 

[dumdumdedum]

@Canon1 this being my last project or last forum i ever joined really resonated with me

i used to be so full of life, and constantly buzzing with ideas, spinning out projects, making plans

now, i plan to ctb

 

[Mizzmini45]

I feel like I live on here now. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing

 

[howard]

I feel like I live on here now. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing

If it's all you have left, as with me, then it's something to keep breathing for if only for a while. Therefore probably good.

 

[MeltingHeart]

i used to be sunny and a bright eyed sweet innocent person

now, i have nothing

i'm on this forum constantly, reading, looking for more

is it morbid? does misery seek company?

I posted that exact quote in chat today, about misery seeks...

 

[Quax]

@Mizzmini45 To my experience, it's a good thing.... we are all social beings... and here we can find the matching social sphere.

 

[Canon1]

Yeah i feel like here is my place

 

[MeltingHeart]

@Canon1 this being my last project or last forum i ever joined really resonated with me

i used to be so full of life, and constantly buzzing with ideas, spinning out projects, making plans

now, i plan to ctb

Same I was so positive, happy go lucky, excited by so many little things, so many ideas or things to try & do in life. Horrible to feel so different from that.

If it's all you have left, as with me, then it's something to keep breathing for if only for a while. Therefore probably good.

U out yet? @howard

 

[Girobatol]

Im no longer in Twitter like before and just spend time here.

 

[howard]

Same I was so positive, happy go lucky, excited by so many little things, so many ideas or things to try & do in life. Horrible to feel so different from that.

U out yet? @howard

Very hard to explain. Am out. Was never sectioned they lied. 30 hrs in a wait for a 30 min chat! Got my SN back, as is mine and not illegal. Weired situation. Will pm . No more in open . They read it.

 

[Quax]

Yeah, I think most of us had better times... and i still have a tiny little bit of Hope that some of us could find back to a livable life...this forum is a possible point of return due to the free choice attitude we have here.

 

[crea_the_hopeless]

I agree with you OP. Same sentiments.

 

[Done at Fifty]

Life feels refreshingly real and honest on this forum. Other places I put my mind - watching videos, inspirational books, work, fb etc - I just feel I have to wear a fake smile and persona and attempt to fill myself with fake hope. The rat race isn't natural and makes me anxious. Here I feel at peace.

 

[NotMeant2B]

I don't know why this thread gave me a déjà vu.
Anyways, I wanted to say that I come back to this forum every so often, when I feel down, because it brings some peace. I feel at rest from the relentlessness of life. I don't have act as a "normal" person, I can be myself.

 

[Meant2Die]

When i first found this site i literally forgot Twitter, Twitch, and Discord existed, and spent only maybe once a day checking Ig just for somene's stories as oppose to living on those before. I was enthralled by the amount of information here. I started out reading about hanging, bc thats honestly the only available method I thought I had, then onto guns (that idea was quickly destroyed)... then bc i started getting really scared about hanging I kept reading about SN. Turns out that is DEF my preferred method now that I learned all about it, one I am much more comfortable with. So now I wait a bit longer for 2 more things to be delivered, and in the mean time spend all my time here. It's actually really odd to return to the other social media sites. Nothing about them excites me , instead reminds me of what it was like before i decided to CTB and once I made my decision I don't want to think about that. Just tunnel focused on getting shit in order to CTB.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I'm the same I read here constantly. I spend most of my time on here. I feel less alone and less alienated in my feelings. No one irl to talk to so I am grateful for SS.

 

[mediocre]

I've never spent any time on social media because I don't have any friends anyway. But I find it so toxic and judgemental. This place is the complete opposite. So many kind people here. I love reading others stories and talking to people.

 

[Sweet emotion]

i used to be sunny and a bright eyed sweet innocent person

now, i have nothing

i'm on this forum constantly, reading, looking for more

is it morbid? does misery seek company?

To be honest, yes misery does love company. No one wants to be in a room with a bunch of people laughing and living happy lives when that person is miserable. We can relate to each other on this site. I started living on it when I first joined. I started reading everyone's personal problems. I don't suggest doing that because I got so overwhelmed I started lashing out at people. Suicide is morbid. It doesn't get more morbid than this. But some people here are given hope and they try to turn their lives around. What happened to you if you don't mind me asking that brought you here?

I feel like I live on here now. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing

For me it was a bad thing. I became even more depressed reading what everyone wrote. You're just surrounded by 100 other people's depression on top of your own, and that caused me to lash out at people. Now I only come on once a week.

 

[Moonicide]

Same here. This is the only place I have where I can unapologetically be myself.
It's been my source of comfort. I've gotten to hear so many life stories from you all. And I've obtained quite a bit of knowledge from this forum as well.
When I ctb I'm going to be a bit sad leaving you all behind in a sense. It's been good for me here.