[ Warning: Long Read] This is a third worlder's story but everyone is welcome to join.
-Moving to an Island part is down at the bottom
Let me introduce myself first. I'm a 22 Y.O. male from [Insert a small Asian country]. I've always hated life since my childhood. Bullying, social anxiety, sexual abuse and whatnot. Add to that the fun of premature puberty .
Life became a bit more forgiving once we moved to the capital city.
I'm fairly educated. I've done my +2 (grade 11 and 12) specializing in science. I'm currently doing bachelors in Mathematics and Physics in a local community campus. Though I am an eastern, I've always subscribed to and been fascinated by the western values and mentality as long as I can remember. I'm an atheist and a huge advocate of intelligence, responsibility, honesty, empathy and freedom. Compared to others I have it fairly easy these days. Many of my family members have moved to the US. I'm fortunate they cover my fees and expenses and even though I don't have money on me, I need not worry about being homeless ever.
My primary discord are the people where I live. This country is super corrupt form the inside out. IDK if it's just the culture or it's Ingrained right into the DNA but people here seem to love disorder and lawlessness. I'm not exaggerating, I genuinely suspect people here have some kind of allergy to following law and taking responsibility. Everyone just loves to complain all the time, while they themselves have zero sense of responsibility. Everyone is out to get each other and make quick bucks by hook or by crook. Even the police themselves are corrupt sadists. It's hard to find anyone with decency and character, People just don't have any regard for other's well being. Everyone looks content with the way things are. Nobody wants to change for good. I feel like I'm living among zombies, a black crow among a swarm of white goose. I just want out.
I've tried moving to Norway or Finland (I hate U.S. because it's corrupt and greedy), where I can live under a rock, teach kids mathematics (which I love) and sleep most of the time. Once I make about $50,000, I'd send it to my old, poor mom and dad. With that money they would be able to make it through the old age. If I died right now they will just starve or freeze to death. Once I sort that out I'd be free to die as I please. The problem here is due to my depression and failed suicide attempt, I have few year gaps in my study, which is not regarded well. If I want a student visa I must first complete my masters, another 6 years. I sure as hell can't take 6 more years of this insanity.
I also have a choice of entering the above countries as an illegal migrant, but that would be against my principles. I don't have any right to illegally enter another country without the consent of the government there. So that's a no-no.
Another way around is if I could get a girl to paper marry me ( also called dummy marriage), which is totally (technically) legal and easy and once I get there we could "paper divorce" and I would get a visa valid for 5 years. I would probably CTB by the deadline. I feel like I kinda deserve it when I see rich ungrateful Chinese, with money made from slavery and exploitation, can buy Canadian and US citizenship just like that. I've asked a girl on this forum if she would help me out by "paper marrying" me, since she was going to die anyway ( she was serious and looking for a partner), so that I can die too. I offered her couple thousand dollars in return( all I could afford). I also said I will be her hit-man if she needed, or suicide assist or/ partner. I also guaranteed to put her out of misery in case she became a vegetable which is a big deal. She was below 23(above 18), so I will only do this after she's 23 ( otherwise I would be morally liable to her parents). She didn't reply but it's fine. I had been polite and respectable in my email. I want your opinion on this, did I do anything wrong by asking her for help? Need I be ashamed of myself? Should I not do this again? [ BTW if anyone wants to help I'm still open]
I'm growing more and more hopeless recently. I see the doors closing. I can't want to see this bullshit unfold before my eyes everyday. If I don't find a way, I'll buy/rent a boat, buy food and medicines, and a mobile home, pack my books and sail south to one of the pacific islands and only return to take my exams after two years. If I died in between my parents won't have to see me dead, two birds with one stone. If anyone wants to join I will take in. Come on in and CTB on my island. Do you guys think it is a good idea?
-Moving to an Island part is down at the bottom
Let me introduce myself first. I'm a 22 Y.O. male from [Insert a small Asian country]. I've always hated life since my childhood. Bullying, social anxiety, sexual abuse and whatnot. Add to that the fun of premature puberty .
Life became a bit more forgiving once we moved to the capital city.
I'm fairly educated. I've done my +2 (grade 11 and 12) specializing in science. I'm currently doing bachelors in Mathematics and Physics in a local community campus. Though I am an eastern, I've always subscribed to and been fascinated by the western values and mentality as long as I can remember. I'm an atheist and a huge advocate of intelligence, responsibility, honesty, empathy and freedom. Compared to others I have it fairly easy these days. Many of my family members have moved to the US. I'm fortunate they cover my fees and expenses and even though I don't have money on me, I need not worry about being homeless ever.
My primary discord are the people where I live. This country is super corrupt form the inside out. IDK if it's just the culture or it's Ingrained right into the DNA but people here seem to love disorder and lawlessness. I'm not exaggerating, I genuinely suspect people here have some kind of allergy to following law and taking responsibility. Everyone just loves to complain all the time, while they themselves have zero sense of responsibility. Everyone is out to get each other and make quick bucks by hook or by crook. Even the police themselves are corrupt sadists. It's hard to find anyone with decency and character, People just don't have any regard for other's well being. Everyone looks content with the way things are. Nobody wants to change for good. I feel like I'm living among zombies, a black crow among a swarm of white goose. I just want out.
I've tried moving to Norway or Finland (I hate U.S. because it's corrupt and greedy), where I can live under a rock, teach kids mathematics (which I love) and sleep most of the time. Once I make about $50,000, I'd send it to my old, poor mom and dad. With that money they would be able to make it through the old age. If I died right now they will just starve or freeze to death. Once I sort that out I'd be free to die as I please. The problem here is due to my depression and failed suicide attempt, I have few year gaps in my study, which is not regarded well. If I want a student visa I must first complete my masters, another 6 years. I sure as hell can't take 6 more years of this insanity.
I also have a choice of entering the above countries as an illegal migrant, but that would be against my principles. I don't have any right to illegally enter another country without the consent of the government there. So that's a no-no.
Another way around is if I could get a girl to paper marry me ( also called dummy marriage), which is totally (technically) legal and easy and once I get there we could "paper divorce" and I would get a visa valid for 5 years. I would probably CTB by the deadline. I feel like I kinda deserve it when I see rich ungrateful Chinese, with money made from slavery and exploitation, can buy Canadian and US citizenship just like that. I've asked a girl on this forum if she would help me out by "paper marrying" me, since she was going to die anyway ( she was serious and looking for a partner), so that I can die too. I offered her couple thousand dollars in return( all I could afford). I also said I will be her hit-man if she needed, or suicide assist or/ partner. I also guaranteed to put her out of misery in case she became a vegetable which is a big deal. She was below 23(above 18), so I will only do this after she's 23 ( otherwise I would be morally liable to her parents). She didn't reply but it's fine. I had been polite and respectable in my email. I want your opinion on this, did I do anything wrong by asking her for help? Need I be ashamed of myself? Should I not do this again? [ BTW if anyone wants to help I'm still open]
I'm growing more and more hopeless recently. I see the doors closing. I can't want to see this bullshit unfold before my eyes everyday. If I don't find a way, I'll buy/rent a boat, buy food and medicines, and a mobile home, pack my books and sail south to one of the pacific islands and only return to take my exams after two years. If I died in between my parents won't have to see me dead, two birds with one stone. If anyone wants to join I will take in. Come on in and CTB on my island. Do you guys think it is a good idea?
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