i want as much less awareness of dying as possible, also i could not find a bridge or access to a high enough building where i live
lol jumping off is much more fun than weighing out and mixing a puke inducing salt potion alone in ur room. id either travel to someplace that has the building or get a gun. maybe its different from your perspective, i just see it that way, even hanging seems more pleasant than sn, i never understood it.
i read a log of some guy who documented a users sn experience while they were on call and it sounded like she had pain after ingesting and audible groans were heard.
unless u mean awareness of others, at that point you can mask it will lots of ways if ur creative enough. i dont know ur situation, do what u want, hope u leave well if thats best