Venting Thinking back

[Tried-tireD]

It's been around a year now where I was probably in the best state I could be.
I just graduated high school, got good results, got accepted into university, and ended things off with my school psychologist on an optimistic note. I decided to devote every single day of December working on myself and all my issues to prepare me for uni as I knew what to expect.

Come first day of orientation and everything I've worked for and done went down the drain. Like some disastrous relapse and that's where my suicidal ideation really started.

Now I'm a couple of weeks away from trying to CTB. It's insane how shit can go sideways instantaneously. I'm really surprised that I managed to pass my first year but I barely even care anymore.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

College can really hit people hard in ways they may not have been able to anticipate. You're not alone in that. Can you share a little more detail about what you were struggling with? Have you been able to get any mental health support?

 

[FuneralCry]

It's true that in this life what we go through can easily get so much worse, potentially in ways beyond how we could imagine it to. It's awful how as long as we stay here there is no limit as to how much we can suffer so I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Tried-tireD]

College can really hit people hard in ways they may not have been able to anticipate. You're not alone in that. Can you share a little more detail about what you were struggling with? Have you been able to get any mental health support?

The main thing I've really been struggling with is trying to make any meaningful relationships. Like true friends and/or a partner. Mainly a partner. I've noticed that so many people around me got partners and I also wanted to feel that sort of connection.

During orientation they always say "Don't worry, you'll make life long friends" Everyone looks like theyve known each other for life and I fit in nowhere.

In sort, crushing loneliness lol. I've been seeing a psychologist on campus this past year, even started using meds but nothings worked

 

[locked*n*loaded]

During orientation they always say "Don't worry, you'll make life long friends" Everyone looks like theyve known each other for life and I fit in nowhere.

I never made any life-long friends when I was in college for four years. I worked a full-time job to pay for it, and went to school full-time. Maybe I really didn't have time for any of the socializing aspects to it. Oh well, I did what I had to do.