I am 30 live with parents don't pay rent because i owe them nothing i never asked to be dragged into any of this and i do whatever the fuck i want in my spare time because this is my life. I have had my shitty supermarket nightshift job for 4 years it is part time 16 hours a week but i always work 32 hours a week because of overtime. I have saved up 19k in this time from the UK and living with severe social anxiety has made any type of job hell. I get laughed at because i can hardly talk to anyone never had a relationship and just to make it brief life has never been enjoyable in sny way for me. This shit has been going on since i was about 12 no happy memories and i need to end it all within the next 5 years because i refuse to live with this as i approach 40. This job has made me realise that i want no part of society or work and cannot function like a normal person. I tried my best to make things work but what a colossus failure it was. I am not doing this for the rest of my life fuck right off. I'm thinking i should quit work which will be the nail in the coffin enjoy 5 years or so with the money i earned and then end it all. Quitting this job would be it for me and if i do it there's no turning back because i am not going through job searching and interviews again i am just done. So my choice is to keep this awful lifestyle going or let go and enjoy my money before suicide. What would you do ? Sorry this is a long post and aggressive but this is a man that just doesn't care anymore. I don't hate my parents by the way but upsetting them doesn't matter anymore it's my life and i am not being emotionally blackmailed by anyone to keep living in 50 years or so they will be gone too and it just doesn't matter.
Lookingforabus
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2019
- 421
That was basically my plan for a while. Make and save money while the sun shines, then blow it all on my own private going away party, when I run out of money, end up dead on some tropical beach with a tox screen that would put a rockstar to shame.
Life got in the way, but if I could, that's the way I'd have done it.
Life got in the way, but if I could, that's the way I'd have done it.
irregularheartbeat
Memento Mori
- Aug 25, 2019
- 65
As you said, it's your own life. It sounds like you've saved enough to support yourself for some time, to make this a plausible option. It sounds like it would be good for you to take some time for yourself, knock things off of your bucket list, live for yourself and only yourself for a while until you're ready. At the end if the day all we have are our choices, and the directions we would like to take.
snowman626
Mage
- Jan 28, 2019
- 545
how do you plan on spending the $19k?
Just cruising around in my car going for walks in the middle of nowhere away from everyone and a few holidays and lots of alcohol.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,199
I can't afford to quit my job and do that. I will have to end it no warning. I don't give a shit about my job. They will find another monkey to replace me.
I also don't want to quit my job and have something go wrong that I have to find another one before I CTB.
I also don't want to quit my job and have something go wrong that I have to find another one before I CTB.
Aleksandra
żyję cicho krwawiąc
- Aug 28, 2019
- 330
if it makes you feel any better i worked for one of the big 3 supermarkets during nights, i quit that job impulsively and i must say, it does make doing it easier.
Dreamcolleger
I surrender... I SURRENDER!
- Apr 26, 2019
- 219
I was in a similar situation to you earlier this year, I quit but life got in the way for a while.
The longer you are out of it, you will start to lose touch with your reasons and motivations to CTB. I wish I could've done it about a month after I quit, I was more than ready then. It has been many months, I still believe I can do it, but it's harder to get that fuel and motivation after being away from the direct problems for so long. I can't imagine spending 5 years out of it and then trying to recall it all and CTB.
The longer you are out of it, you will start to lose touch with your reasons and motivations to CTB. I wish I could've done it about a month after I quit, I was more than ready then. It has been many months, I still believe I can do it, but it's harder to get that fuel and motivation after being away from the direct problems for so long. I can't imagine spending 5 years out of it and then trying to recall it all and CTB.
Tabbyql
Chronic people pleaser
- Mar 13, 2019
- 282
Your post is so similar to where I was 2 years ago. Shitty retail job, that job made me see how awful people can be. Anxiety so bad could barely talk or look at anyone. Which meant the customers always seemed to treat me the worst. Most days I would go home and cry. I left after trying to ctb, thankfully I don't have to get up every day and go there. But I'm not any better off I have 0 money and get made to feel lazy. I have a suggestion, you have 19k saved up. Perhaps you could use that to get some education for a passion/interest you have? Or maybe use some to see some of the world? Maybe start a business be your own boss? Then you don't have to deal with people like that on a daily basis as a wage slave. If you wanna talk feel free to pm me, and il answer as soon as I can.
