Thinking about making a "me too" video and ending it

[needthebus]

I was violently sexually assaulted at one point in my life. It changed my ability to experience love and I still have pain down there.

It's so humiliating.

I am thinking about making a "Me Too" video and posting it online before ending it all.

I am in so much pain, it's like screaming horrible emotional agony every second. The worst part is this injustice happened and no one cares, nothing has happened to the person who did it who still gets to live a nice life and fall in love and be happy and have a normal job. I am ruined. I am in pain, I will never be in love, I am always injured and unhappy.

I have read about honor killings before and I know everyone in Western Society is horrified by honor killings, and often they are done in very sexist ways or for homophobic or discriminatory reason. But I feel so completely fucking abandoned by society and my family and everyone. I did try to report what happened, my family knows. And this person just exists in this normal happy life. It's so unfair and cruel. The fact that this person is living a normal life, has never been arrested, nothing has ever happened to him, and my family goes on with their normal lives, would never do anything to stand up for me, is a horrible degradation. I look "okay" but I am in pain, I can't have normal sex anymore, I am already dead. And everyone just treats it like "oh, you should just talk about your feelings" but no one is enraged about what was done, no one cares.

I think I want to make a Me Too video of what happened and then just end my life as soon as possible. I have some "receipts" that this happened, but I think no one will give a fuck. The extent to which no one cares about me or my life or my well-being is astounding to me, just no one gives a fuck at all. The injustice and horror and cruelty of this world are so fucking overwhelming and disgusting. I think after I post the Me Too video in multiple places, I am going to kill myself probably within a day or two. I can't bare the pain anymore. Everything is so awful. I understand the anti-natalist position and am at least glad I didn't procreate, that I didn't create beings who could feel this sort of pain. I am in constant grief for the semi-normal life I lost. No one believes me.

I am so depressed and sad and just unable to do anything, and I have to work, and the second I stop working I am totally fucked. I asked family if I could move in with them because I am having a hard time and 1 person said no and the other said "Sure, but we'd have to talk about it" and when I asked when we could talk about it, they said "Oh some other time." I give up, I just fucking give up, fuck this world, everyone is so mean and selfish and fucking evil

If I go on disability, they will drug the fuck out of me and I don't want that. After being involuntarily hospitalized and treated with so much disrespect and humiliation and condescension, I will NEVER be willingly involved in the mental health system again. Going on disability is a deal with a devil in which I can stop working but then I have to go back to the mental health industry, who WILL drug me because I was hospitalized before and tried to end my life before and their solution is always DRUG DRUG DRUG even if they never work. And even when they never work, they just write down you seem better, and then if you tell them they are making you feel worse and you hate the side effects, they will point to their notes and say how you are doing better and even said "i feel better" one day last month and that you lack insight the drugs are helping and need more drugs. FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES. I hope they all suffer one day for their financial exploitation of people who are hurting. Being involuntarily hospitalized was hell, I had to say exactly what those fucks wanted or I would have been kept there to endure even worse suffering. "Oh, this has been so helpful," I lied. FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. Anytime they asked me how I felt or my emotions, I lied. I would never bond with my captors, they would never know the real me. I fucking hate those evil pieces of shit.

I think I know how I'll commit suicide. I think even after the me too video no one will care. People will say it's unfortunate but nothing will be done. Absolutely no one fucking cares how much I have suffered. No one cares about me, I am utterly fucked. I am so just so poor and unhappy and can't stop working right now.

I am just suffering so much, I just want it to be over. I wish I came from a supportive family that I could actually rely on.

He attacked me while I was high on drugs. He said he was going to do them too and then didn't. He told me he loved me, cheated on me and lied about things and I told other people. And he invited me out after, and I went out with him again because I liked him and was naive and stupid, then he got me drugged up, and attacked me, and no one cares. No one cares at all, I am just this awful running joke.

If I did go on disability, the amount I would get is so little that I couldn't do anything other than possible eat and sleep. There's no extra money for anything else, and I wouldn't even be able to have my own small place. I would possibly have to share a room.

I have an advanced degree and I am doing work that is barely above high school level because of having been hospitalized and having gaps on my resume due to depression. It's just another humiliation. I should have just fucking killed myself right after it happened. Every minute of work, which barely is enough for rent and food and definitely isn't enough for medical expenses, leaves me absolutely miserable and degraded. The only "help" that exists in society comes from religious cults that hate gay people (or love the sinner hate the sin, which is the same fucking thing) and preach a bunch of lies or the mental health industry that will involuntarily drug me and will find some way of taking control away if I dip my toe in the alligator infested pond. NEVER AGAIN, after involuntary treatment, never again will I interact with them at all.

I just want to die. I hate everything so much, everyone is so mean to me always. No one cares, just absolutely no one cares, and the people who "care" always want financial exploitation.

sometimes i imagine when i was younger i was kidnapped by aliens and they torture people before eating them because somehow it makes the meat taste better

and they clone me and clone others before doing this, and they torture everyone the exact same way

we're all hooked up to wires in vats to experience misery so we end up tasting better

and i imagine that none of us know, that we all have these simulations of other people being happy, and we're all experiencing the same sort of misery and no one knows it

if anyone knows an easy way to buy SN from a good source please message me

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry, what you had endure is so horrible.

 

[needthebus]

I'm sorry, what you had endure is so horrible.

I've tried to think about it in terms of recent wars in which people have lost many family members in 1 day and have no one

It may not be as bad as that.

I really wish he had killed me that night. It would have been more humane. Being sad and unhappy and imbued my face with an unusual quality and i'm afraid people will respond to it in mean ways, making fun of me. i also look a bit off in some ways as it is

 

[lnlybnny]

I'm so sorry you had this done to you, people's cruelty can be so extreme it's unbelievable. You can PM me if you need someone to vent to. <3

 

[4everHeartBroken]

I was violently sexually assaulted at one point in my life. It changed my ability to experience love and I still have pain down there.

It's so humiliating.

I am thinking about making a "Me Too" video and posting it online before ending it all.

I am in so much pain, it's like screaming horrible emotional agony every second. The worst part is this injustice happened and no one cares, nothing has happened to the person who did it who still gets to live a nice life and fall in love and be happy and have a normal job. I am ruined. I am in pain, I will never be in love, I am always injured and unhappy.

I have read about honor killings before and I know everyone in Western Society is horrified by honor killings, and often they are done in very sexist ways or for homophobic or discriminatory reason. But I feel so completely fucking abandoned by society and my family and everyone. I did try to report what happened, my family knows. And this person just exists in this normal happy life. It's so unfair and cruel. The fact that this person is living a normal life, has never been arrested, nothing has ever happened to him, and my family goes on with their normal lives, would never do anything to stand up for me, is a horrible degradation. I look "okay" but I am in pain, I can't have normal sex anymore, I am already dead. And everyone just treats it like "oh, you should just talk about your feelings" but no one is enraged about what was done, no one cares.

I think I want to make a Me Too video of what happened and then just end my life as soon as possible. I have some "receipts" that this happened, but I think no one will give a fuck. The extent to which no one cares about me or my life or my well-being is astounding to me, just no one gives a fuck at all. The injustice and horror and cruelty of this world are so fucking overwhelming and disgusting. I think after I post the Me Too video in multiple places, I am going to kill myself probably within a day or two. I can't bare the pain anymore. Everything is so awful. I understand the anti-natalist position and am at least glad I didn't procreate, that I didn't create beings who could feel this sort of pain. I am in constant grief for the semi-normal life I lost. No one believes me.

I am so depressed and sad and just unable to do anything, and I have to work, and the second I stop working I am totally fucked. I asked family if I could move in with them because I am having a hard time and 1 person said no and the other said "Sure, but we'd have to talk about it" and when I asked when we could talk about it, they said "Oh some other time." I give up, I just fucking give up, fuck this world, everyone is so mean and selfish and fucking evil

If I go on disability, they will drug the fuck out of me and I don't want that. After being involuntarily hospitalized and treated with so much disrespect and humiliation and condescension, I will NEVER be willingly involved in the mental health system again. Going on disability is a deal with a devil in which I can stop working but then I have to go back to the mental health industry, who WILL drug me because I was hospitalized before and tried to end my life before and their solution is always DRUG DRUG DRUG even if they never work. And even when they never work, they just write down you seem better, and then if you tell them they are making you feel worse and you hate the side effects, they will point to their notes and say how you are doing better and even said "i feel better" one day last month and that you lack insight the drugs are helping and need more drugs. FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES. I hope they all suffer one day for their financial exploitation of people who are hurting. Being involuntarily hospitalized was hell, I had to say exactly what those fucks wanted or I would have been kept there to endure even worse suffering. "Oh, this has been so helpful," I lied. FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. Anytime they asked me how I felt or my emotions, I lied. I would never bond with my captors, they would never know the real me. I fucking hate those evil pieces of shit.

I think I know how I'll commit suicide. I think even after the me too video no one will care. People will say it's unfortunate but nothing will be done. Absolutely no one fucking cares how much I have suffered. No one cares about me, I am utterly fucked. I am so just so poor and unhappy and can't stop working right now.

I am just suffering so much, I just want it to be over. I wish I came from a supportive family that I could actually rely on.

He attacked me while I was high on drugs. He said he was going to do them too and then didn't. He told me he loved me, cheated on me and lied about things and I told other people. And he invited me out after, and I went out with him again because I liked him and was naive and stupid, then he got me drugged up, and attacked me, and no one cares. No one cares at all, I am just this awful running joke.

If I did go on disability, the amount I would get is so little that I couldn't do anything other than possible eat and sleep. There's no extra money for anything else, and I wouldn't even be able to have my own small place. I would possibly have to share a room.

I have an advanced degree and I am doing work that is barely above high school level because of having been hospitalized and having gaps on my resume due to depression. It's just another humiliation. I should have just fucking killed myself right after it happened. Every minute of work, which barely is enough for rent and food and definitely isn't enough for medical expenses, leaves me absolutely miserable and degraded. The only "help" that exists in society comes from religious cults that hate gay people (or love the sinner hate the sin, which is the same fucking thing) and preach a bunch of lies or the mental health industry that will involuntarily drug me and will find some way of taking control away if I dip my toe in the alligator infested pond. NEVER AGAIN, after involuntary treatment, never again will I interact with them at all.

I just want to die. I hate everything so much, everyone is so mean to me always. No one cares, just absolutely no one cares, and the people who "care" always want financial exploitation.

sometimes i imagine when i was younger i was kidnapped by aliens and they torture people before eating them because somehow it makes the meat taste better

and they clone me and clone others before doing this, and they torture everyone the exact same way

we're all hooked up to wires in vats to experience misery so we end up tasting better

and i imagine that none of us know, that we all have these simulations of other people being happy, and we're all experiencing the same sort of misery and no one knows it

if anyone knows an easy way to buy SN from a good source please message me

I'm so sorry for your suffering. Sending you love.

 

[thealteredmind]

girl... if I were you I would grab a good baseball bat and go after that motherfucker. what do you have to lose? don't kill him. just hurt him. make a scene. in public.

pd: just kidding, don't do that!

pd2: just saying... justice at your own hand wouldn't be a bad idea

pd3: HEY I DIDN'T WRITE THIS IT'S LIKE SOMEONE IS CONTROLLING MY COMPUTER! POLICE DON'T COME AFTER ME IM A GOOD CITIZEN

 

[b_adr]

I was violently sexually assaulted at one point in my life. It changed my ability to experience love and I still have pain down there.

It's so humiliating.

I am thinking about making a "Me Too" video and posting it online before ending it all.

I am in so much pain, it's like screaming horrible emotional agony every second. The worst part is this injustice happened and no one cares, nothing has happened to the person who did it who still gets to live a nice life and fall in love and be happy and have a normal job. I am ruined. I am in pain, I will never be in love, I am always injured and unhappy.

I have read about honor killings before and I know everyone in Western Society is horrified by honor killings, and often they are done in very sexist ways or for homophobic or discriminatory reason. But I feel so completely fucking abandoned by society and my family and everyone. I did try to report what happened, my family knows. And this person just exists in this normal happy life. It's so unfair and cruel. The fact that this person is living a normal life, has never been arrested, nothing has ever happened to him, and my family goes on with their normal lives, would never do anything to stand up for me, is a horrible degradation. I look "okay" but I am in pain, I can't have normal sex anymore, I am already dead. And everyone just treats it like "oh, you should just talk about your feelings" but no one is enraged about what was done, no one cares.

I think I want to make a Me Too video of what happened and then just end my life as soon as possible. I have some "receipts" that this happened, but I think no one will give a fuck. The extent to which no one cares about me or my life or my well-being is astounding to me, just no one gives a fuck at all. The injustice and horror and cruelty of this world are so fucking overwhelming and disgusting. I think after I post the Me Too video in multiple places, I am going to kill myself probably within a day or two. I can't bare the pain anymore. Everything is so awful. I understand the anti-natalist position and am at least glad I didn't procreate, that I didn't create beings who could feel this sort of pain. I am in constant grief for the semi-normal life I lost. No one believes me.

I am so depressed and sad and just unable to do anything, and I have to work, and the second I stop working I am totally fucked. I asked family if I could move in with them because I am having a hard time and 1 person said no and the other said "Sure, but we'd have to talk about it" and when I asked when we could talk about it, they said "Oh some other time." I give up, I just fucking give up, fuck this world, everyone is so mean and selfish and fucking evil

If I go on disability, they will drug the fuck out of me and I don't want that. After being involuntarily hospitalized and treated with so much disrespect and humiliation and condescension, I will NEVER be willingly involved in the mental health system again. Going on disability is a deal with a devil in which I can stop working but then I have to go back to the mental health industry, who WILL drug me because I was hospitalized before and tried to end my life before and their solution is always DRUG DRUG DRUG even if they never work. And even when they never work, they just write down you seem better, and then if you tell them they are making you feel worse and you hate the side effects, they will point to their notes and say how you are doing better and even said "i feel better" one day last month and that you lack insight the drugs are helping and need more drugs. FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES. I hope they all suffer one day for their financial exploitation of people who are hurting. Being involuntarily hospitalized was hell, I had to say exactly what those fucks wanted or I would have been kept there to endure even worse suffering. "Oh, this has been so helpful," I lied. FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. Anytime they asked me how I felt or my emotions, I lied. I would never bond with my captors, they would never know the real me. I fucking hate those evil pieces of shit.

I think I know how I'll commit suicide. I think even after the me too video no one will care. People will say it's unfortunate but nothing will be done. Absolutely no one fucking cares how much I have suffered. No one cares about me, I am utterly fucked. I am so just so poor and unhappy and can't stop working right now.

I am just suffering so much, I just want it to be over. I wish I came from a supportive family that I could actually rely on.

He attacked me while I was high on drugs. He said he was going to do them too and then didn't. He told me he loved me, cheated on me and lied about things and I told other people. And he invited me out after, and I went out with him again because I liked him and was naive and stupid, then he got me drugged up, and attacked me, and no one cares. No one cares at all, I am just this awful running joke.

If I did go on disability, the amount I would get is so little that I couldn't do anything other than possible eat and sleep. There's no extra money for anything else, and I wouldn't even be able to have my own small place. I would possibly have to share a room.

I have an advanced degree and I am doing work that is barely above high school level because of having been hospitalized and having gaps on my resume due to depression. It's just another humiliation. I should have just fucking killed myself right after it happened. Every minute of work, which barely is enough for rent and food and definitely isn't enough for medical expenses, leaves me absolutely miserable and degraded. The only "help" that exists in society comes from religious cults that hate gay people (or love the sinner hate the sin, which is the same fucking thing) and preach a bunch of lies or the mental health industry that will involuntarily drug me and will find some way of taking control away if I dip my toe in the alligator infested pond. NEVER AGAIN, after involuntary treatment, never again will I interact with them at all.

I just want to die. I hate everything so much, everyone is so mean to me always. No one cares, just absolutely no one cares, and the people who "care" always want financial exploitation.

sometimes i imagine when i was younger i was kidnapped by aliens and they torture people before eating them because somehow it makes the meat taste better

and they clone me and clone others before doing this, and they torture everyone the exact same way

we're all hooked up to wires in vats to experience misery so we end up tasting better

and i imagine that none of us know, that we all have these simulations of other people being happy, and we're all experiencing the same sort of misery and no one knows it

if anyone knows an easy way to buy SN from a good source please message me

I hate it so much that this happened to you. And that you have had no support afterwards from the people closest to you is detestable. This just makes me so angry, life is hard enough as it is even without such trauma. I personally would try to report to authorities and would not let go until there is at least some justice.

 

[needthebus]

I hate it so much that this happened to you. And that you have had no support afterwards from the people closest to you is detestable. This just makes me so angry, life is hard enough as it is even without such trauma. I personally would try to report to authorities and would not let go until there is at least some justice.

I did report it and nothing happened after. Not enough evidence and too much time elapsed since it happened.

I made a typo in the previous post. It imbued my face with a sad quality. I look permanently sad now.

I was also quite ugly before it happened anyway and had unusual features. I almost certainly have genetic damage or "phenotype variance" based on genetic anomalies.

I haven't made the video exactly. I did make a video describing what happened. I don't know what I'll do about it. I am terribly scared of mental health professionals. There was recently possibly a door to door salesman type person and I wasn't sure if it was a welfare check and it scared the hell out of me. I didn't talk to the person and still don't know who it was.

What was so mean about how this person hurt me is that I was, back then, quite abnormal looking and he initially seduced me with saying he was so into me and saying he really liked me. I was always so lonely and strange and was just so into him. It was this stupid, utterly stupid idea that I could be happy somehow. He knew I was strange looking and seduced me in this mean way intending to be cruel to me, never wanting to be with me. It was brutal and cruel. Everyone thinks he's a nice person. He was so mean, just so utterly mean, and the night he attacked me was horrific. He planned it, I can't prove that it wasn't just sudden and opportunistic and crazy and caused by drugs (he could have been intoxicated), but I really genuinely believe he planned to hurt me that night, that it was plotted.

I am probably going to have to stop writing about this on here. This place is actually a great place for support. I don't know whether i will kill myself or not, but it's nice to have a place where I can just be sad and be myself and not worry about some mental health industry asshole writing things down or locking me up and depriving me of sensory experiences and demanding I take pills that make me shake and twitch just to placate them, because I'm not allowed to be sad and suicidal because "jebus."

I fucking hate the mental health industry so damn much. I am terrified if I keep writing in here some do-good christian piece of shit type will try to figure out who i am and try to kidnap me and force me on drugs. Fuck those people. Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right and doesn't mean you're not a shithead for kidnapping people for your weird mental health jebus reasons. Fuck all of you kidnapping mental health pieces of shit.

 

[b_adr]

I did report it and nothing happened after. Not enough evidence and too much time elapsed since it happened.

I made a typo in the previous post. It imbued my face with a sad quality. I look permanently sad now.

I was also quite ugly before it happened anyway and had unusual features. I almost certainly have genetic damage or "phenotype variance" based on genetic anomalies.

I haven't made the video exactly. I did make a video describing what happened. I don't know what I'll do about it. I am terribly scared of mental health professionals. There was recently possibly a door to door salesman type person and I wasn't sure if it was a welfare check and it scared the hell out of me. I didn't talk to the person and still don't know who it was.

What was so mean about how this person hurt me is that I was, back then, quite abnormal looking and he initially seduced me with saying he was so into me and saying he really liked me. I was always so lonely and strange and was just so into him. It was this stupid, utterly stupid idea that I could be happy somehow. He knew I was strange looking and seduced me in this mean way intending to be cruel to me, never wanting to be with me. It was brutal and cruel. Everyone thinks he's a nice person. He was so mean, just so utterly mean, and the night he attacked me was horrific. He planned it, I can't prove that it wasn't just sudden and opportunistic and crazy and caused by drugs (he could have been intoxicated), but I really genuinely believe he planned to hurt me that night, that it was plotted.

I am probably going to have to stop writing about this on here. This place is actually a great place for support. I don't know whether i will kill myself or not, but it's nice to have a place where I can just be sad and be myself and not worry about some mental health industry asshole writing things down or locking me up and depriving me of sensory experiences and demanding I take pills that make me shake and twitch just to placate them, because I'm not allowed to be sad and suicidal because "jebus."

I fucking hate the mental health industry so damn much. I am terrified if I keep writing in here some do-good christian piece of shit type will try to figure out who i am and try to kidnap me and force me on drugs. Fuck those people. Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right and doesn't mean you're not a shithead for kidnapping people for your weird mental health jebus reasons. Fuck all of you kidnapping mental health pieces of shit.

I sometimes cannot fathom how is it that so many people who commit horrific crimes can remain unpunished and just go on living their lives, while the victim is mentally ruined forever. I don't think that there should be any statute of limitations for violent or sexual crimes. In some countries and US states there actually is none. But, depending on where you live, I believe the average period is 10 years. Has it been longer than that? Also, I believe that detail victims account, testimonies of people you told it back then, as well as perhaps any records on the psychological impact is good enough evidence. Please, don't give up.

 

[needthebus]

I sometimes cannot fathom how is it that so many people who commit horrific crimes can remain unpunished and just go on living their lives, while the victim is mentally ruined forever. I don't think that there should be any statute of limitations for violent or sexual crimes. In some countries and US states there actually is none. But, depending on where you live, I believe the average period is 10 years. Has it been longer than that? Also, I believe that detail victims account, testimonies of people you told it back then, as well as perhaps any records on the psychological impact is good enough evidence. Please, don't give up.

I've looked into it. I didn't report it right away. There were injuries, but I didn't see a doctor right away. He denies being there.

I developed bad mental health issues afterwards, making my testimony less credible. He seems credible. There is no jury who would convict him, even though I am being honest.

Time has elapsed and I have talked to lawyers, talked to police, and therapists. There is zero likelihood of charges or conviction according to everyone due to elapsed time since crime and report, his denial, etc. I am being a realist.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I've looked into it. I didn't report it right away. There were injuries, but I didn't see a doctor right away. He denies being there.

I developed bad mental health issues afterwards, making my testimony less credible. He seems credible. There is no jury who would convict him, even though I am being honest.

Time has elapsed and I have talked to lawyers, talked to police, and therapists. There is zero likelihood of charges or conviction according to everyone due to elapsed time since crime and report, his denial, etc. I am being a realist.

This thread is heartbreaking, it's horrible how you've been treated not only by the man who attacked you but the entire MH system, the police, and the shitty employers who won't even give you a chance because you understandably needed time away from working after such a devastating event.

Do you feel like anything would feel better for you, if there were any chance of a conviction happening? I'm only asking because having been through similar things multiple times throughout my life, I went through the rigamarole of reporting it and it only brought me more stress and not really any peace of mind, although ultimately the first time I was unsuccessful like you and gave up on the criminal justice system entirely following that experience.

Serving justice in a legal setting, I was told, is mainly for the purpose of preventing future victims and crimes, rather than healing any of the inner turmoil inflicted on me by the trauma. Seeing it through that lens did bring me some peace of mind, and perhaps it may for you as well, that just because that person didn't get arrested or face legal consequences doesn't make what happened to you any less real or horrible. Though I know it's incredibly frustrating and disappointing.

What you mentioned about not being taken seriously due to having mental health diagnoses on your record and having credibility questioned is unfortunately true, no matter how ignorant and short sighted that is. I learned that many people conflate any "mental" dx with being irrational, an unreliable narrator, and delusional even if whatever issue you're having has absolutely nothing to do with any of those negative traits they're assuming.

It's something I went through as well when I was abused, my credibility was called into question because I was "mentally ill/suicidal nutjob" and the older man grooming and abusing me was seen as a stable, reliable beacon of truth even though he had sociopathic traits and admitted he manipulates people, analyzes their personality to figure out how to use and play them, lies, steals, has committed crimes, etc all because he has a fake, charming personality and I'm a weird looking meek autistic girl. People are genuinely just so ignorant and truly have no clue what a "mental illness" even is. Others take advantage of our vulnerability for reasons I'll never understand.

I know it's not much comfort, but you're not alone in this. I can relate a lot to your story. I also swore off therapists and psychiatrists due to the treatment making things worse for me and threats of involuntary hospitalisation. Don't they realize that taking away agency from someone, much like an abuser does, only serves to traumatize a person worse and push us in a corner where it's even more difficult to trust others? They have no clue what PTSD is half the time, and just force shit onto people that isn't even officially approved to treat PTSD or other after effects of trauma, then always blame the patient when the treatment that is being given fundamentally isn't designed for people with traumatic stress. They also tried to get me to take antipsychotics for no reason other than, "we can't think of anything else that would help you chill out."

I wish people cared more and helped you out. It's disappointing at so many levels. I'm in the exact same boat as you, I have no family or anything like that, and people would always just pretend like that doesn't matter, when it clearly does and is a crucial source of support for so many after going through extreme trauma. It blows my mind that after all you've been through your family won't even give you a place to lay your head at night, what is wrong with them..

 

[needthebus]

im wanting to edit the video, include "receipts" and post it, but i am so scared and unhappy

i am afraid it could lead to jebus do-gooders suggesting more mental health services forced psychiatric pill financial exploitation

and i dont have sn

im always sad and scared and lazy

i think if i post it people will laugh at me

im in agony

 

[Archness]

I'd suggest focusing on ctb and sn well before that video.

You'll already be dead, and I doubt they'll believe the video, even if you ctb'd /w it, they'd just block out all the "Insane nonsense".

Also, don't fixate on the details so much, like a specific method, poison, etc. Just find a way OUT. Tho you probably thought alot about it already, you should still be open to other methods.