Thinking about family makes things too difficult

[Theresnoescape]

Most days, I tell myself I'm ready to go, then I start thinking of my family and how they'd feel. It just makes things so much harder. I know it's selfish but, not thinking about them would make it so much easier, why can't I just do that?

 

[foreverstardust]

I can relate, if I go my aunt will be totally alone and I already know how devastated she would be after past attempts. It hurts so much to think about her being left by herself, just living alone in this house we used to share, but at the same time waiting possibly 20/30 years for her to pass first would be agonising.

I just wish there was a button I could press to just erase me from ever having existed in the first place, save us all the hurt and suffering whatever happens.

 

[divinemistress87]

I understand I would have been long gone by now if it wasnt for family

 

[persepexa]

It's the only thing that makes me hesitate to CTB. They will be crushed. They might never recover. And I know that. But I'm still resolute in my decision.

 

[Theresnoescape]

I can relate, if I go my aunt will be totally alone and I already know how devastated she would be after past attempts. It hurts so much to think about her being left by herself, just living alone in this house we used to share, but at the same time waiting possibly 20/30 years for her to pass first would be agonising.

I just wish there was a button I could press to just erase me from ever having existed in the first place, save us all the hurt and suffering whatever happens.

This exactly, it's just so hard. I think the act itself is bad enough, why do we have to suffer even more.

I understand I would have been long gone by now if it wasnt for family

I get it, can't CTB without hurting someone I guess. Suppose we just need to hope they understand when our time comes.

 

[derekWest]

I can relate, if I go my aunt will be totally alone and I already know how devastated she would be after past attempts. It hurts so much to think about her being left by herself, just living alone in this house we used to share, but at the same time waiting possibly 20/30 years for her to pass first would be agonising.

I just wish there was a button I could press to just erase me from ever having existed in the first place, save us all the hurt and suffering whatever happens.

i'm in the same situation ! my aunt and my dad are in their 70s. i might wait until 10 years... sometimes, i wonder to be able to just push a button to ctb also...

 

[futurecorpse]

At this point I'm only thinking about how me ctb will affect my dad. My mom already passed away. I have a toddler niece but I don't see her as much as I used to, causing me to become detached. Everyone else, as harsh as this is, I don't really care about. My dad is old enough to be my grandfather and he has health issues, so he relies on me and my brother to help him. It causes me a lot of conflicting feelings because i don't want to abandon him. But I also want to stop hurting on a daily basis

 

[Theresnoescape]

At this point I'm only thinking about how me ctb will affect my dad. My mom already passed away. I have a toddler niece but I don't see her as much as I used to, causing me to become detached. Everyone else, as harsh as this is, I don't really care about. My dad is old enough to be my grandfather and he has health issues, so he relies on me and my brother to help him. It causes me a lot of conflicting feelings because i don't want to abandon him. But I also want to stop hurting on a daily basis

Sorry to hear about your mom. I don't think that's harsh, sometimes we have to put ourselves first I think, though that's easier said than done.

 

[futurecorpse]

Sorry to hear about your mom. I don't think that's harsh, sometimes we have to put ourselves first I think, though that's easier said than done.

Thank you. If I get to see her again, I know she'll be disappointed to see me so soon. All my life I've put everyone first and they took advantage of me. You're definitely right, it's time I finally put myself first. I'll keep reminding myself that.

 

[unworthy_]

I do too. Have a family and pets that I love so much. Pet has cancer and I must care for her. I recently opened up my issues with my aging mu. I feel so guilty because I am already 39y but still a failure in life. I should have gotten married with kids but I have ntg.. I sabotaged my loving relationship with my ex.

My sole purpose now is just to keep my pet comfortable until her last day.