It probably won't be.
I ate at 4pm and would take my SN at ~1am, a nine-hour fast. It is now 19:20. (End of post: 8pm.)
Before I die, I will make payments of £1,000 to three of my friends who:
1) my family do not know well (and so are not named in my will)
2) I have bank details for
3) I have the ability to send a message on a delay (email/Telegram)
I will send suicide notes to those three and two others (both named in my will) on a delay, to arrive early tomorrow morning. That means they'll arrive when I'm dead, so they won't need to panic to try and save me.
I will leave a physical note for my parents, informing them what I have taken, to be careful around any spills (especially for the dogs), and that if they are calling an ambulance then the antidote is methylene blue. There is a longer digital note on my laptop for them; I will also tell them the code for my laptop.
My steps:
4pm: last meal (apple and raspberry sponge)
8pm: test dose of meto. Not expecting anything.
11pm: no more drinking until it is time to begin properly.
12am: Starting preparing my drinks of SN solution, 25g in 100ml x2 . Take 45mg mirtazapine in lieu of benzos - this is a tranquil using antidepressant I am prescribed.
12:15am: 30mg meto
1am: drink SN solution
Honestly, I don't feel especially bad, and I'm starting to get fed up of this place, but I don't actually think I'll get better. I have lost interest in my travel plans which were previously the only thing keeping me going. I think killing myself is the utility-maximising decision for myself. I'm going to do it in the future so may as well do it now.
Risks:
1) I change my mind - not the worst thing in the world.
2) meto interacts with mirtazapine and I am too confused or sedated to complete plan.
3) I disturb my parents and they call an ambulance. This is the worst outcome as it probably leads to a hospitalisation.
4) I forget that I'm supposed to be fasting and eat something.
5) the classic: I vomit it all up.
Will try to update if and when I take my SN, or if I abort my attempt.
I ate at 4pm and would take my SN at ~1am, a nine-hour fast. It is now 19:20. (End of post: 8pm.)
Before I die, I will make payments of £1,000 to three of my friends who:
1) my family do not know well (and so are not named in my will)
2) I have bank details for
3) I have the ability to send a message on a delay (email/Telegram)
I will send suicide notes to those three and two others (both named in my will) on a delay, to arrive early tomorrow morning. That means they'll arrive when I'm dead, so they won't need to panic to try and save me.
I will leave a physical note for my parents, informing them what I have taken, to be careful around any spills (especially for the dogs), and that if they are calling an ambulance then the antidote is methylene blue. There is a longer digital note on my laptop for them; I will also tell them the code for my laptop.
My steps:
4pm: last meal (apple and raspberry sponge)
8pm: test dose of meto. Not expecting anything.
11pm: no more drinking until it is time to begin properly.
12am: Starting preparing my drinks of SN solution, 25g in 100ml x2 . Take 45mg mirtazapine in lieu of benzos - this is a tranquil using antidepressant I am prescribed.
12:15am: 30mg meto
1am: drink SN solution
Honestly, I don't feel especially bad, and I'm starting to get fed up of this place, but I don't actually think I'll get better. I have lost interest in my travel plans which were previously the only thing keeping me going. I think killing myself is the utility-maximising decision for myself. I'm going to do it in the future so may as well do it now.
Risks:
1) I change my mind - not the worst thing in the world.
2) meto interacts with mirtazapine and I am too confused or sedated to complete plan.
3) I disturb my parents and they call an ambulance. This is the worst outcome as it probably leads to a hospitalisation.
4) I forget that I'm supposed to be fasting and eat something.
5) the classic: I vomit it all up.
Will try to update if and when I take my SN, or if I abort my attempt.
