Method Think I’m done fighting to recover!

[adharmed]

I am a 58 year old mom who suffered a mental break down 16 month ago. I have severe daily anxiety to the point where I can barely function. I basically suffer all day until night time when it sometimes gets better. I've tried mult medication, adjunct meds, Tms, therapy, spravato., keto diet. But it's not better. This am it got even worse — didn't think it was possible. I'm only hear bc of my family. But I'm getting to a point where I can't stay with all this pain. As much as I love my family facing this unrelenting anxiety each day is torture. So I'm trying to get everything together to exit quietly and when I can find a time to do it with the least trauma to my family. I wish they could never find my body. My question is where to get the sodium nitrate. I also have a lot of propranolol, Valium, mirtazapine, trazadone, and oxycodeine. I figured I could drive to a secluded spot and take the meds. If I could get my hands on morphine, I could probably get some doxigin and go that route. Also thought of the helium exit helmet but it sounds so complicated and I'm not sure how to get the helium or other gas. I am facing no timeline, estimate, etc for recovery. In fact, I may have permanent damage to my nervous system. I need a way out of this pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so cruel and terrible to me how there's all this suffering and torture in this dreadful existence, I hope you find the peace you search for.