I'm so fucking tired of hearing this whenever I mention anything related to ctb that it makes me feel fucking nauseous
First of all how is that any consolation for someone who's already depressed to guilt them further and second of all the people close to me are also a major reason why my mental health is bad
And if even I'm suffering so much I still need to be put other people's emotions first?
What if I don't want to be responsible for how others take my death because I don't care about them and they pretended not to see it coming when I was alive because they didn't want to be responsible for my emotions back then
I heard this a lot as a teenager and now I'm in my 20s and my life only got fucking worse
I'm broke and had to move back in with my abusive family and if you live in an asian country you know how bad the work environment is with no accommodation for mentally ill people and blatant discrimination so being employed or not is basically the same to me as the pay also is literally shit
I came across that youtuber tantracul's video yesterday and I know I'm late to see it but everyone there was like "these people on this evil death cult forum are telling kids to off themselves but why are they still here why haven't they ctb yet"
Most of the people that I have talked to on the forum were middle aged with terrible circumstances that led them here and none of them have told me to off myself rather offered advice on how to get back into the job market and for why I haven't ctb yet I wish there were methods for me that were painless and sure that would allow me to go peacefully
And there are trolls literally everywhere I've literally encountered ppl telling others to ctb on reddit and discord and no one does anything about it there and here atleast on the public threads people are respectful?
And anyone who knows how to access the darknet or have money can buy drugs? I knew how to access it way before I came across this forum but what this forum offers is completely different in my experience?
I just needed a safe space to express my thoughts and how people will do anything to make you convince to live when you mention about ctb but when it comes to why you want to they have no answer for that? Speaking for myself only is it that crazy to want to ctb instead of living homeless Is it that crazy to want to ctb when you cannot afford the medical care you need I want to ctb because my life is physically excruciating and hard to live and if I had money and a safety net maybe I won't think about ctb
Ofcourse these are my own personal reasons behind considering it and people have numerous others so to say they make this decision on impulse is straight up disrespectful and invalidating their feelings and comes from a place of privilege?
I just don't get the point of telling suicidal people to ctb just because they want to talk about it instead of addressing WHY they feel the need to resort to ctb
First of all how is that any consolation for someone who's already depressed to guilt them further and second of all the people close to me are also a major reason why my mental health is bad
And if even I'm suffering so much I still need to be put other people's emotions first?
What if I don't want to be responsible for how others take my death because I don't care about them and they pretended not to see it coming when I was alive because they didn't want to be responsible for my emotions back then
I heard this a lot as a teenager and now I'm in my 20s and my life only got fucking worse
I'm broke and had to move back in with my abusive family and if you live in an asian country you know how bad the work environment is with no accommodation for mentally ill people and blatant discrimination so being employed or not is basically the same to me as the pay also is literally shit
I came across that youtuber tantracul's video yesterday and I know I'm late to see it but everyone there was like "these people on this evil death cult forum are telling kids to off themselves but why are they still here why haven't they ctb yet"
Most of the people that I have talked to on the forum were middle aged with terrible circumstances that led them here and none of them have told me to off myself rather offered advice on how to get back into the job market and for why I haven't ctb yet I wish there were methods for me that were painless and sure that would allow me to go peacefully
And there are trolls literally everywhere I've literally encountered ppl telling others to ctb on reddit and discord and no one does anything about it there and here atleast on the public threads people are respectful?
And anyone who knows how to access the darknet or have money can buy drugs? I knew how to access it way before I came across this forum but what this forum offers is completely different in my experience?
I just needed a safe space to express my thoughts and how people will do anything to make you convince to live when you mention about ctb but when it comes to why you want to they have no answer for that? Speaking for myself only is it that crazy to want to ctb instead of living homeless Is it that crazy to want to ctb when you cannot afford the medical care you need I want to ctb because my life is physically excruciating and hard to live and if I had money and a safety net maybe I won't think about ctb
Ofcourse these are my own personal reasons behind considering it and people have numerous others so to say they make this decision on impulse is straight up disrespectful and invalidating their feelings and comes from a place of privilege?
I just don't get the point of telling suicidal people to ctb just because they want to talk about it instead of addressing WHY they feel the need to resort to ctb
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