Venting Things that make me hesitant on ctbing

[PxB]

• Fear of afterlife. After telling that I'm feeling suicidal because of schizophrenia to someone, they replied with "Thats part of your karma you have to pay in this life. As harsh and insensitive that sounds... you try to escape it by suicide, it leads to something worse." And it scared me even more from ctbing when I thought of being put into something worse as a possibility if I ctb.
• Fear of losing great wisdom. I feel lucky to have good knowledge about the world and the nature of things and I feel bad for throwing it all away.
• Fear of non-existence after death. I know how bad life can get after I got schizophrenia and trauma, but before I got those illness, I had a taste of what a good relaxing life is like and I feel sad that I will never experience those good memories again if I stop existing after death.
• Worried that I might inflict severe trauma to my love ones if I ctb.

 

[jimmy7754]

non existence is inconceivable, this gives me comfort.. I don't believe death has anything to do with karma..

 

[Mr. Incapable]

I think karma only has true meaning during one's life — do good things for others, others will do good things for you. That's about the extent of it in my opinion. I personally don't believe there's anything spiritual about karma.. and if there's a circumstance where it seems possible, I believe it's also possible it could just be luck or a coincidence. I'm not a spiritual or religious person though. The conception of live does baffle me, though.. so as for what happens after death, I can't say what I believe for certain.. I definitely don't believe in ghosts, spirits, heaven, hell or another stage of our existing lives/souls. I'd like to believe there was some sort of rebirth or reincarnation so I could have a restart at life again, and if there is I don't believe there would be a distinction between the life of a human, an animal, insect or even bacteria - I'd assume life could start anywhere. Saying that, even if there was life on another planet.. not necessarily aliens but plant matter or some kind of animal life, then I don't see why rebirth couldn't be intergalactic, but that's a different topic. I'd like to think rebirth was a thing, only because our conscious was conceived into the world at some point, somehow but I can't say I have a hard belief in anything. I do agree with you about losing wisdom. I'm grateful that we have access to so much information and there's still so much more to learn and discover. I'm constantly watching documentaries and reading so it'll be disappointing to lose that but it's also inevitable at some point in our lives anyway.. death is always inevitable

 

[outrider567]

• Fear of afterlife. After telling that I'm feeling suicidal because of schizophrenia to someone, they replied with "Thats part of your karma you have to pay in this life. As harsh and insensitive that sounds... you try to escape it by suicide, it leads to something worse." And it scared me even more from ctbing when I thought of being put into something worse as a possibility if I ctb.
• Fear of losing great wisdom. I feel lucky to have good knowledge about the world and the nature of things and I feel bad for throwing it all away.
• Fear of non-existence after death. I know how bad life can get after I got schizophrenia and trauma, but before I got those illness, I had a taste of what a good relaxing life is like and I feel sad that I will never experience those good memories again if I stop existing after death.
• Worried that I might inflict severe trauma to my love ones if I ctb.

With that list, I'm not surprised that you're still here ---I don't care about any of those things, although many here do share your similar points---The appeal of 'joining' my girlfriend in death is stronger than any of your thoughtful and profound concerns that you stated

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally do not believe in any afterlife and I actually look forward to non existence. To me, it is comforting the thought of never existing again. There is no evidence that there is even anything after this and I think that it is best to ignore those people who try to scare you about an afterlife. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Having wasted my life and numerous opportunities nothing makes me hesitate other then lacking a method. Pure laziness. Nothing here to live for. Walls closing in.

 

[lofticries]

The only thing I'm scared of is the dying process.