Venting They want to send me to a psych ward

[Done_Surviving]

My psychiatrist suggested it and already told my parents, apparently you can only have so many suicidal ideations and thoughts before you become concern. And I didn't even told him about the time that I poured anti-freeze in a cup and just stared at it for about an hour, not even thinking just blankly staring at the possibility. (I found out the next day that it was suicide awareness day, so I was just one stupidity away from making the funniest joke of my dumb life) Anyway, yes, he wants to send me away, and I don't want to. It scares me, I've heard a lot of horror stories of abuse from staff, especially sexual abuse, and having to co-live with people that are in worst mental state than you so it just drags you down even more, and from people that come out from there more traumatized and with more determination to ctb rather than "being fix". I'm staying firm in my ground that I don't want to go! I have to much shit to do anyway and can't stop right now! But my parents say that I should really consider it, that lately I've been worst than ever and that it's obvious that I'm not getting better. I have some pills that I could possibly OD over if I wash them down with a bottle of vodka and mix them with whatever other shit I have in the pantry, but I promise my dad that I wouldn't try anything, and I don't want to die a lier.

 

[darknesscomesquick]

Honestly, if the psych was super concerned about the suicide possibility, they would leave hospitalization as optional, which is how you make it sound it to be right now. Usually, if they are concerned about your ability to keep yourself alive, they take the choice away from you and put you on a hold. Are they referring to a psych hospital or a residential treatment center? Residential is usually voluntary...hospitals are not (usually).

I agree, it's not the best place to be and I have never felt "fixed" from any of my stays and I don't recommend it as the place to "get fixed". It can be an ok escape from the reality of every day life. The food sucks and you are never alone and the grippy socks are definitely not the height of fashion, but going also gets people off your back for a bit. The all think they are doing good and saving someone...

 

[nozomu]

Why is your psychiatrist talking to your parents?

 

[Done_Surviving]

Honestly, if the psych was super concerned about the suicide possibility, they would leave hospitalization as optional, which is how you make it sound it to be right now. Usually, if they are concerned about your ability to keep yourself alive, they take the choice away from you and put you on a hold. Are they referring to a psych hospital or a residential treatment center? Residential is usually voluntary...hospitals are not (usually).

I agree, it's not the best place to be and I have never felt "fixed" from any of my stays and I don't recommend it as the place to "get fixed". It can be an ok escape from the reality of every day life. The food sucks and you are never alone and the grippy socks are definitely not the height of fashion, but going also gets people off your back for a bit. The all think they are doing good and saving someone...

Thank you, and yes I think it's a residential treatment center, sorry English's not my first language. I just feel like it would be like throwing away the towel, in some sort of way, like I struggle a lot just get by and be consider mediocre at whatever I do, but at least I'm doing it. I'm also afraid of what will others think, specially the rest of my family, my siblings already hate me for being "the center of attention" and if they learn abut me being institutionalized they will just hate me more. Also all of my friends think that I'm just exaggerating everything and that I should just change my attitude, and idk, maybe I am, maybe if I really wanted to feel better I would be better. All I know is that I'm tired of feeling sick, and idk how long I can keep pushing myself before either my sanity or my body gives out. (I really hope my body collapses first.)

Why is your psychiatrist talking to your parents?

he usually doesn't does this, but since I have a history of self harm he considered I could possibly be a danger to myself. Even thought I'm a grown ass adult (21), but I do live with my parents.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

he wants to send me away, and I don't want to.

Then it´s kidnapping, no matter how many euphemisms they throw at you e.g. involuntary committed, hospitalized etc. kidnapping is kidnapping

having to co-live with people that are in worst mental state than you so it just drags you down even more, and from people that come out from there more traumatized and with more determination to ctb rather than "being fix"

This is spot on I was locked up in a psych ward for a long time I only have aspergers but they thought I had schizotypical disorder which was later ruled out I haven´t and everyone including staff would think i looked and appeared normal which I was but being locked up with LITERALLY insane people really fucks with your head I had one guy starting getting angry and screaming at me I really thought he was going to attack me even a staff member told me this individual can´t be helped he was just too insane and dangerous there was even a person in there who came in on a wheelchair because he had tried to jump from the 3rd floor and broken some bones plus collapsed a lung even showed me his scar under his arm/chest from the operation on the lung he told me he did it because he was told he had to go back into the psych ward who knows if it was true but I could believe it. He also later came back some months later with his wrists cut up completely had a lot of stitches all the way over both wrists this wasn´t light cutting this was serious he even had nerve damage and a operation later to attach his nerves this dude was bad ass imo for really trying these methods btw he slit his wrists the wrong way he went across the road not down the street.

But I think all these places should be shut down that is my personal opinion they aren´t helping anyone the same people keeps coming back again and again it´s a joke just not a very funny one.

 

[Done_Surviving]

Then it´s kidnapping, no matter how many euphemisms they throw at you e.g. involuntary committed, hospitalized etc. kidnapping is kidnapping

This is spot on I was locked up in a psych ward for a long time I only have aspergers but they thought I had schizotypical disorder which was later ruled out I haven´t and everyone including staff would think i looked and appeared normal which I was but being locked up with LITERALLY insane people really fucks with your head I had one guy starting getting angry and screaming at me I really thought he was going to attack me even a staff member told me this individual can´t be helped he was just too insane and dangerous there was even a person in there who came in on a wheelchair because he had tried to jump from the 3rd floor and broken some bones plus collapsed a lung even showed me his scar under his arm/chest from the operation on the lung he told me he did it because he was told he had to go back into the psych ward who knows if it was true but I could believe it. He also later came back some months later with his wrists cut up completely had a lot of stitches all the way over both wrists this wasn´t light cutting this was serious he even had nerve damage and a operation later to attach his nerves this dude was bad ass imo for really trying these methods btw he slit his wrists the wrong way he went across the road not down the street.

But I think all these places should be shut down that is my personal opinion they aren´t helping anyone the same people keeps coming back again and again it´s a joke just not a very funny one.

I am so sorry that you had to go through that, that sound horrible. I hope you are in a better place right now. And this is exactly why I'm scared to go

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Psych wards vary in quality depending on the country, if you are in america it's relatively decent. I've been hospitalized 5 times for the same thing as you. In my experience it's really just very boring and lack of privacy is oppressive. There is a possibility of abuse but in my experience it's rare, only a few nurses go that far and they usually target the most mentally challenged, that's a sad reality. Food is pretty bad but bearable. Also escaping life for a bit could be pretty relieving, but don't expect to have your problems fixed. If you decide to go there it shouldn't be too horrible, but that's up to you

Then it´s kidnapping, no matter how many euphemisms they throw at you e.g. involuntary committed, hospitalized etc. kidnapping is kidnapping

This is spot on I was locked up in a psych ward for a long time I only have aspergers but they thought I had schizotypical disorder which was later ruled out I haven´t and everyone including staff would think i looked and appeared normal which I was but being locked up with LITERALLY insane people really fucks with your head I had one guy starting getting angry and screaming at me I really thought he was going to attack me even a staff member told me this individual can´t be helped he was just too insane and dangerous there was even a person in there who came in on a wheelchair because he had tried to jump from the 3rd floor and broken some bones plus collapsed a lung even showed me his scar under his arm/chest from the operation on the lung he told me he did it because he was told he had to go back into the psych ward who knows if it was true but I could believe it. He also later came back some months later with his wrists cut up completely had a lot of stitches all the way over both wrists this wasn´t light cutting this was serious he even had nerve damage and a operation later to attach his nerves this dude was bad ass imo for really trying these methods btw he slit his wrists the wrong way he went across the road not down the street.

But I think all these places should be shut down that is my personal opinion they aren´t helping anyone the same people keeps coming back again and again it´s a joke just not a very funny one.

I'm sorry you went through so much. I personally think psych wards should be a thing, because at the moment there is no better alternatives for people with severe mental problems, for example people in agitated psychosis who could harm someone, people in catatonic states that need to be taken care of and looked after constantly. But I think there should be different wards for different severity. Here in russia we have a private hospital that has calm wards for people with depression, OCD, anxiety etc and other wards for severe psychosis and stuff like that

My psychiatrist suggested it and already told my parents, apparently you can only have so many suicidal ideations and thoughts before you become concern. And I didn't even told him about the time that I poured anti-freeze in a cup and just stared at it for about an hour, not even thinking just blankly staring at the possibility. (I found out the next day that it was suicide awareness day, so I was just one stupidity away from making the funniest joke of my dumb life) Anyway, yes, he wants to send me away, and I don't want to. It scares me, I've heard a lot of horror stories of abuse from staff, especially sexual abuse, and having to co-live with people that are in worst mental state than you so it just drags you down even more, and from people that come out from there more traumatized and with more determination to ctb rather than "being fix". I'm staying firm in my ground that I don't want to go! I have to much shit to do anyway and can't stop right now! But my parents say that I should really consider it, that lately I've been worst than ever and that it's obvious that I'm not getting better. I have some pills that I could possibly OD over if I wash them down with a bottle of vodka and mix them with whatever other shit I have in the pantry, but I promise my dad that I wouldn't try anything, and I don't want to die a lier.

Also I think it's a bad idea to OD, most prescription pills are rather safe and you would likely just vomit and be taken to a hospital

 

[Ampsvx123]

A promise that is not done out of heart is worthless, you haven't promise anything.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how we exist in a world where suicidal people end up being punished simply for wanting to die. I find it inhumane how those who want to die are locked away in psych wards, those places sound so awful and like they just make people suffer even more.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I am so sorry that you had to go through that, that sound horrible. I hope you are in a better place right now. And this is exactly why I'm scared to go

I am not doing good but anyplace but there then I´m doing better

But I think there should be different wards for different severity. Here in russia we have a private hospital that has calm wards for people with depression, OCD, anxiety etc and other wards for severe psychosis and stuff like that

I talked with my family a lot back when I was in there like why isn´t there a place for people with just autism? Why do I have to be put into a ward with violent aggressive schizophrenic people I hate those people now after having to be exposed to them 24/7 for such a long time.

 

[nozomu]

he usually doesn't does this, but since I have a history of self harm he considered I could possibly be a danger to myself. Even thought I'm a grown ass adult (21), but I do live with my parents.

Did you give him consent to? They need consent for that... it's a breach of ethics otherwise