reverse03
Departing. Goodbye
- Sep 11, 2022
- 159
Family/landlord found my SN. They discovered that I will ctb on October 16. Our landlord is close relative. They took it away and made sure that I will not ctb. They even sent me to hospital to be admitted for 3 days.
There's a part of me that still want to continue to live just to see what is ahead. But at the back of my head the call to ctb is getting louder and louder again. I don't know what to do now.
I want to reorder sn and ship it to different address that I can pick up later. Should I continue my plan to ctb?
I already send other people the IC source. If I continue to live I feel guilty that I help someone end their lives. I really want to ctb but SI is holding me back. I just feel torn and wanting to die or disappear at this moment. Fck this life.
There's a part of me that still want to continue to live just to see what is ahead. But at the back of my head the call to ctb is getting louder and louder again. I don't know what to do now.
I want to reorder sn and ship it to different address that I can pick up later. Should I continue my plan to ctb?
I already send other people the IC source. If I continue to live I feel guilty that I help someone end their lives. I really want to ctb but SI is holding me back. I just feel torn and wanting to die or disappear at this moment. Fck this life.
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