Venting These sleepless nights...

[ExitTheDay]

...are getting really old, it's been 4 days since I've had any proper sleep and I couldn't even say that was good enough because I was up for another 3 days prior. Comfort is a priviledge for me now, in order to be comfortable I need to order a cup of coffee and sit down inside of a cafe on the cushioned seats just to get away from the unbearable hardwood benches or stone staircases. I only got 2 hours of sleep last night and of course it wasn't the best sleep because the bench I slept on was harder than O.G mudbomes 14 inch cock...

I was planning on laying down in the middle of the city common on the grass and catch some Z's but I'm just too afraid to sleep outside because I run the risk of getting the last of what I have stolen which really isn't much, the valuables I have right now are my phone and a vaporizer pen which I can easily put into my pocket while I sleep but the rest of whatever I have can bite the dust for all I care, I'm probably going to lose it eventually...

Anyways I'm going to see how today plays off, running on not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 and counting days of sleep it probably won't be too shabby unless I grow a pair of balls and sleep in the common, I'm also scared because all it takes is someone to crack me upside the hear while I'm asleep and then BOOM... I'm knocked out and then all of my shit gets stolen, let's just see how today goes...

 

[not_a_robot]

Being homeless is a bitch.
And if you think that's bad, wait til you meet the vultures who are supposedly there to "help" you.

 

[ExitTheDay]

Being homeless is a bitch.
And if you think that's bad, wait til you meet the vultures who are supposedly there to "help" you.

Ooooooh, I have met those vultures already and it's safe to say I'm avoiding those motherfuckers at all costs (who are clearly homeless aswell) they think we are all buddy buddy because we exchanged a few words but are not lol... just because I asked you for some pot to deal with the sickening lifestyle you've adapted to doesn't mean I am your friend

 

[not_a_robot]

Ooooooh, I have met those vultures already and it's safe to say I'm avoiding those motherfuckers at all costs (who are clearly homeless aswell) they think we are all buddy buddy because we exchanged a few words but are not lol... just because I asked you for some pot to deal with the sickening lifestyle you've adapted to doesn't mean I am your friend

lol those, sure, but I was referring to the social workers,shrinks and "charities" who will come to "help" you.
Don't worry, they will come.
You are their source of revenue.

 

[ExitTheDay]

lol those, sure, but I was referring to the social workers,shrinks and "charities" who will come to "help" you.
Don't worry, they will come.
You are their source of revenue.

Lmaooooo yeah right, fuck those people aswell

 

[Alec]

I've always been terrified of becoming homeless, until a few years back. I haven't become homeless I just became more reckless and started carrying less about what happens to me. That being said, it's much easier to be suicidal and depressed while living in an apartment with a warm bed and a meal when I need it. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this and are going through this! You don't deserve it and you deserve far better!!! I want to tell you you are not alone and I'm with you, because I am and I'm thinking about you, but I'm afraid it won't fix the fucked up situation and at least in my experience I'm not sure it will make feel less lonely, because in the end, you are there in your body and I am not. And it's fucked up, and I'm sorry and want to scream and cry and everything just to make these things stop from happenening!!! Not sure how that will help. I also want to tell you this, thank you for sharing with us! Thank you for telling us your story!! I'm here and I hear it! And in some way it even gives me hope, because you show me that if I become homeless maybe I'll be able to keep existing and stay myself, even if I decide to kill myself while I'm homeless I'll die as me and not as somebody else, maybe the pain won't break me, because you do it, and you are still a beautiful soul! I sincerely hope a miracle happens and it all get fixed and gets better for you, I really really do!!! You deserve better!!!!!
Becoming homeless is still very real for me, it can happen literally any day, maybe even today. You make me feel braver!

 

[ExitTheDay]

I've always been terrified of becoming homeless, until a few years back. I haven't become homeless I just became more reckless and started carrying less about what happens to me. That being said, it's much easier to be suicidal and depressed while living in an apartment with a warm bed and a meal when I need it. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this and are going through this! You don't deserve it and you deserve far better!!! I want to tell you you are not alone and I'm with you, because I am and I'm thinking about you, but I'm afraid it won't fix the fucked up situation and at least in my experience I'm not sure it will make feel less lonely, because in the end, you are there in your body and I am not. And it's fucked up, and I'm sorry and want to scream and cry and everything just to make these things stop from happenening!!! Not sure how that will help. I also want to tell you this, thank you for sharing with us! Thank you for telling us your story!! I'm here and I hear it! And in some way it even gives me hope, because you show me that if I become homeless maybe I'll be able to keep existing and stay myself, even if I decide to kill myself while I'm homeless I'll die as me and not as somebody else, maybe the pain won't break me, because you do it, and you are still a beautiful soul! I sincerely hope a miracle happens and it all get fixed and gets better for you, I really really do!!! You deserve better!!!!!❤❤❤❤
Becoming homeless is still very real for me, it can happen literally any day, maybe even today. You make me feel braver!❤

Thank you, and appreciate that you're thinking about me... most people see me walking down the street and they give me either the look of pity or disgust because they think I am on heroin... I'M NOT!!!!!! I fucking wish they knew the situation I was in and didn't fucking stare at me!!!! I'm so fucking sick of it, I didn't care at first because I usually dont give a fuck what people think but it's just becoming out of hand at this point, like what? You've never seen a tired person before, and this society is so fucked up they think otherwise, they think I'm fucking doped out on heroin... fuck it

 

[cryptic_cynic]

Yeah, getting sleep is definitely the hardest part of being homeless in my experience. I live in my car now, but previously I spent almost a year on the streets with no car.
For a few months of that time, I was lucky and had friends at a 24 hour diner who let me sleep in there for a few hours...it wasn't great, but it was better than nothing. After that, I mostly got sleep riding buses around town. I don't know if that could be an option for you, but it was somewhat decent and no one ever stole from me or messed with me.
Social services are definitely bullshit, but one thing useful they might offer is bus passes or tickets.
Other than that, I'd sleep in a library parking garage, but that would be best if you can find some kind of cushioning. You might be able to find some boxes or other materials that could help with that.

Feel free to ask if you have any questions, I can try to help based on my own experience. I'm new here so I can't PM yet I don't think...

 

[not_a_robot]

Thank you, and appreciate that you're thinking about me... most people see me walking down the street and they give me either the look of pity or disgust because they think I am on heroin... I'M NOT!!!!!! I fucking wish they knew the situation I was in and didn't fucking stare at me!!!! I'm so fucking sick of it, I didn't care at first because I usually dont give a fuck what people think but it's just becoming out of hand at this point, like what? You've never seen a tired person before, and this society is so fucked up they think otherwise, they think I'm fucking doped out on heroin... fuck it

Same. I admitted casual drug use in the past, now every healthcare asshole treats me like I'm "on drugs", I only smoke a gram of weed a day and they act like I'm on pcp if I display any emotion whatsoever.

 

[cryptic_cynic]

Same. I admitted casual drug use in the past, now every healthcare asshole treats me like I'm "on drugs", I only smoke a gram of weed a day and they act like I'm on pcp if I display any emotion whatsoever.

The place I was going to for mental health "treatment" tried to force me into a "substance use disorder" program just for using weed, and I live in a state that has had legal recreational pot for like 5 years...

 

[Alec]

Thank you, and appreciate that you're thinking about me... most people see me walking down the street and they give me either the look of pity or disgust because they think I am on heroin... I'M NOT!!!!!! I fucking wish they knew the situation I was in and didn't fucking stare at me!!!! I'm so fucking sick of it, I didn't care at first because I usually dont give a fuck what people think but it's just becoming out of hand at this point, like what? You've never seen a tired person before, and this society is so fucked up they think otherwise, they think I'm fucking doped out on heroin... fuck it

I'm so sorry you have to deal with these assholes every day! People are so stupid sometimes in some things. They'd rather not think about things and just stay ignorant and it's so sad watching them living their lives like that. I know the feeling of being tired all too well too, the only reason I'm not homeless right now is because I live with my very toxic and abusive mother and her boyfriend who's just as toxic and abusive. Every time they fight he starts yelling that I should get out of their apartment. And the only reason she lets me stay with them is because she wants to pay for her life once I get a job and will start working, but even with her I can't be sure she won't kick me out any day now. Or what's more probable is that I'll leave on my own because I can't stand them and one of these days will be my broken point, I'll probably go straight to looking for some y'all building to jump from or something, because I don't think there is anything for me in this life. The only reason I try to put up with them is because they give me a roof over head, but really I just can't see myself getting a stable enough job to pay my own bills because I barely function as it is, I can barely move I'm in so much pain that it turns physical and my whole body hurts, not to mention I just don't have hope anymore I think. I'm so sorry for all the looks you get, but you are right - they don't matter! They are fucked up ones more than us even if it looks like they have some things together, they are in a worse mind state than us, and fuck them! What others think about us doesn't matter! But I understand how after so many times it starts to bother you and I'm sorry, please please stay strong!!! You deserve to be strong and to beat this! You are amazing and you sound like a really awesome person and I admire you!❤❤❤ LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!