It's true that there's no reason really as to why not, I mean if I had a method like N I would ctb as soon as possible. I could never continue to exist only for the sake of others and the only reason as to why I still exist is because of the difficulty of suicide, and fear of ctb failing, there is nothing that could actually make me wish to endure something as horrific and useless as existing.
There is no benefit to suffering through endless problems, and existing will only get more torturous and tedious as time goes on. It's better to free myself from the prison that is existence and permanently end it all, at least to me to die certainly is ideal.