Discussion There Is Nothing Left

[Qdv]

Just talking. Im realizing more and more that I have a hesitation within me since all my supplies for SN arrived two days ago. I dont think its a hesitation as much as it is Im attached. Just attached to living although there is absolutely nothing driving me to keep doing so. Theres nothing more I want. Theres nothing valuable I do in a day. A few old friends have reached out curious about how Ive been and its strange. I have barely replied. I have set a date for the 29th...given myself two more weeks.
Does anyone feel the same? Just attachment to the day to day? Has anyone explored more of the underlying emotions they feel behind letting go?

 

[BPD_LE]

Yeah, I'm ready to go. All planned, but it's not rolling like I thought it would and each day I get more physically depressed I worry I'll miss the bus and end up catatonic, unable to get on it.

 

[SinisterKid]

Since my SN arrived, I have just felt a calmness that was missing from my life. I know if the shit hits the fan, if I plunge to the depths again and decide that enough is enough, I can go. That in itself appears to have given me a new lease of life. I have found that I am making plans again for a future that is by no means certain, but possible.

3 years ago I should have been dead. 4 months ago the same. But somehow, I am still the attention seeking, none suicidal whore that I always was. No dates set, no time frames, just going with the flow and seeing where it goes. There is no rush to end my life and no rush to do anything with it either. What will be will be. I have been to the brink and back twice and something tells me there is a reason for that.

 

[Nem]

I hear you. Death is pretty darn final and when you hit that point of no return plans turn into actions
Peace/hugs

 

[Deleted member 1465]

An unsolvable riddle. Want to let go but can't. Pain is everything. Not sure I can even face posting stuff on here much longer.

 

[Avery Jordan]

I have not seriously contemplated suicide in years because I feel like I have unfinished business