whiteboyswithars
Member
- Jun 15, 2024
- 24
There is nothing important for me anymore. My best friend ended her life this april, I sit alone in my room all day with nobody reaching out to me, I am not really good at anything meaningful; basically I have nothing/ no one to keep me going. I am not diagnosed with anything and don't have access to treat myself (not that I really want to) but still. I've been crying every night for maybe the past week because I miss my friend and I know it is over for me. The only thing I really want now is to die, which, surprise surprise.. I can't even do. I don't have access to any CTB method and my family is so skeptical whenever I ask for ANYTHING.. let alone something that could end my life. I feel like my depression and everything else isn't valid since I live a really nice life but I feel so miserable and terrible all the time and I hate myself for it. I feel ungrateful. The only bridge in walking distance to me isn't even high enough to kill me. I just sit and feel sorry for myself like a loser, but I don't care, I am not going to go out and create some perfect life for myself (I don't fucking want to!! because all I want to do is die). I am scared that I will have to live in this world forever. I probably sound retarded and I am sorry but I have a really hard time expressing myself. Does anyone else feel the same way as me?? (If you can even understand what I am saying)
