There is no hope

[Butterfly-death]

It doesn't matter what kind of pills of put in mouth to get better I still feel horrible. It doesn't matter what a therapist says I still suffer. That's all life is is suffering. Nothing and no one is worth how I feel every single day. I don't care if that's selfish or a bad thing to say YOU try feeling this fucking horrible every single day if you think that.That's what people don't understand and it's funny becuase they're just as selfish trying to keep me alive so I keeping suffering. But those kind of people don't cry every damn day. My heart aches so much I can't stand it. I can't take this. This can't be real I can't believe I'm actually alive and feeling this way and it won't get better and I currently have no way out. Do I deserve this? I just don't understand. There can't be a god because why would he let me feel this bad all the time? Unless there is one and god is evil. It's all a cruel joke or something. Please let it all end. Please. I just want peace of nothingness.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, I just want peace as well, I just wish to be permanently free from this torturous, dreadful existence, I just wish for the peace of non-existence where I'm finally free from the pain and suffering of existing and existing truly is suffering, I hope you find the freedom you search for.

 

[HopelessScientist]

It doesn't matter what kind of pills of put in mouth to get better I still feel horrible. It doesn't matter what a therapist says I still suffer. That's all life is is suffering. Nothing and no one is worth how I feel every single day. I don't care if that's selfish or a bad thing to say YOU try feeling this fucking horrible every single day if you think that.That's what people don't understand and it's funny becuase they're just as selfish trying to keep me alive so I keeping suffering. But those kind of people don't cry every damn day. My heart aches so much I can't stand it. I can't take this. This can't be real I can't believe I'm actually alive and feeling this way and it won't get better and I currently have no way out. Do I deserve this? I just don't understand. There can't be a god because why would he let me feel this bad all the time? Unless there is one and god is evil. It's all a cruel joke or something. Please let it all end. Please. I just want peace of nothingness.

Of course you don't deserve this.

It sounds like pure and unadulterated suffering.

Do you ever feel like the suffering is so incomprehensibly out of this world? Like it cannot be possible, shouldn't be possible to hurt this bad?

I hate to hurt those that love me, so I am trying to exhaust all treatment options first, but if nothing works, yes, it's selfish for people to want us to stay for their sake. Everyday I live I am miserable. Every time I hang out with friends, I feel so horrible but I have to put on a smile. I love them, but I am not okay. They get to go away, live their lives. Me, I am in a fucking pit of hell.

If I can build a ladder out, so I can be a part of their world, I'll climb and claw my way out. If I cannot, then peace is what I deserve.