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CuriousAboutThis

Uncertainty in life uncertainty for the next life
Dec 30, 2018
533
Therapy,
More like treachery,
All they care about is the money,
Just like I do,
Other than death,
Of course,
For which I may look,
Towards the path,
Which way should I go,

Towards life or death,
I do not know,
When will I die?
How shall I lie,
Within this bed,
That we all made for ourselves,
This agitation,
This fixation,
This Frustration,

Detestation,
Devastation,
Of all the misery we suffer,
Why can't I just commit suicide,
Is it because of cowardice, fear, pain,
And survival instincts,
Or because of family, friends, and pets,
Or community or society?

This human heaven,
Hell,
And earth,
For it seems to be dirt,
Annihilation,
Is what I seek,
CTB,
But I don't think I can do that,
I want to but this system will find out,
I know all good too well,
Within this hell,

That we made,
For it will never fade,
Until I am dead,
Until I lie in this bed,
Within my own head,
Why do I exist,
This pain,
What gain can I receive,
I can't even leave,

"Just live for me"
Why should I you lied to me?
You betrayed me,
You sold me out to the State,
You sold me an idea I didn't want nor need to buy into,
Just kill me please,
It had to be my destiny,
I won't be missed only by those who give a shit,
We suicidal have to suffer the most in this world,
What do you have to suffer for?

We all live for this beautiful lie,
And death is a terrible truth,
But some of us seek that truth,
I can't even escape this reality,
I guess I have to live just for this fantasy.

(Honestly how would I CTB because I am not good at escaping those who want me to live when I objectively want to die you can find me even if it terrifies me)

For my existence is nothing but a joke,
There are no folks who truly understands me,
They seem to make fun of me,
For fun, for profit, and even for my misery,
And even for free,
My angry it defies me,
It never lies to me,
For the suicidal,
They truly get me,
Unlike the non suicidal,
They just make fun of me,
You can't even leave me be,
What agony must I live for,

Heaven, hell, earth, reincarnation,
Resurrection, or Annihilation which is what I prefer.
 

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