Yesterday my sister insinuated that my trauma was 'in my head' because she has never experienced these things. We are both approaching 40 and have not lived together since we were teenagers. We talk on the phone and see each other maybe once a year.
Her being so invalidating and doing the same thing that I was talking about. A main part of my trauma is a big family issue that happened when I was a teenager where no one believed me and it came out much later that (surprise surprise) I was telling the truth.... That event caused so many issues.
It was SUCH a triggering conversation. Funny enough, this board came up and how she searched and couldn't find it.... and I told her it's funny because it wasn't until I was really sure I wanted to ctb that I found this website with ease, despite searching for a place like this for years.
Her friend ended her life using N that she got in a country south of this one..... My sister matter of factly told me that she knew it was not a 'pleasant death' because of the position of the body.... I had to explain that it was actually something discussed here which helped me find a link on that 'last moment' and i hope she took a sedative before but from what I've read it should be the 'most peaceful' way to go.
I am very open about wanting to ctb..... Because I want to prove to people that they are so wrong about trauma and I'm not irrational and I'm not unwell..... I am in possession of SN, my family knows... and you know what they have done..... nothing.... cause they think I won't do it..... and maybe I won't but guess what.. it will be MY decision and they will all know it was not some decision made in a state of trauma but a well thought out decision because I decided to no longer be here.
Her being so invalidating and doing the same thing that I was talking about. A main part of my trauma is a big family issue that happened when I was a teenager where no one believed me and it came out much later that (surprise surprise) I was telling the truth.... That event caused so many issues.
It was SUCH a triggering conversation. Funny enough, this board came up and how she searched and couldn't find it.... and I told her it's funny because it wasn't until I was really sure I wanted to ctb that I found this website with ease, despite searching for a place like this for years.
Her friend ended her life using N that she got in a country south of this one..... My sister matter of factly told me that she knew it was not a 'pleasant death' because of the position of the body.... I had to explain that it was actually something discussed here which helped me find a link on that 'last moment' and i hope she took a sedative before but from what I've read it should be the 'most peaceful' way to go.
I am very open about wanting to ctb..... Because I want to prove to people that they are so wrong about trauma and I'm not irrational and I'm not unwell..... I am in possession of SN, my family knows... and you know what they have done..... nothing.... cause they think I won't do it..... and maybe I won't but guess what.. it will be MY decision and they will all know it was not some decision made in a state of trauma but a well thought out decision because I decided to no longer be here.
