Venting The world doesn't want to look at us

[doomedbynarrative]

I sometimes just get so internally angry with human beings sometimes. I still love people and I understand the reasons and psychology but sometimes I just wanna play God and come down from some cloud everyone can see and scream "God dammit LOOK DOWN HERE!"

LIke I don't mean SaSu in particular but everyone on this site and every person who lives and dies with the pain we all feel every single day. Those with mental suffering and physical suffering beyond what "normal" people can imagine. All of us suffering together but alone in the ditch of life. We are the ones the platitudes and toxic positivity doesn't work on. We see the world for what it really truly is because not only do we know of the beauty but we know of the darkest of dark parts and the worst of suffering whether we experience it or witness it in the world. We all know it intimately and we stare down that darkness and we don't flinch because we live in it.

And they tell us to take drugs to "take the depression glasses off" so we can see clearly but they don't see that we aren't wearing bad glasses and the meds are often another pair of bad glasses or a bandaid on a deep laceration.

And they refuse to look at us. They can't. They prefer to live their lives and pretend that people with lives like ours don't exist. And if we do it's because of some flaw in ourselves that we should then be shamed for instead of it being because the world works like this sometimes. They don't want to intimately know that life is fragile. They don't want to consider that their beliefs about the world and even their religions could be wrong. Or that for all science knows there is so much we not only don't know but can't know.

And society continues on like this and like... FFS please look down here. Please acknowledge the dark you don't want to be there. We are all people here. We don't deserve this. We don't deserve to feel like this. We don't deserve to feel like this in a world that won't even try to be in our shoes for a single second without trying to "fix" us so that THEY can feel better.

Some nights I just angry sob at the world and the universe and whatever God there might be on the slim chance they exist and just internally yell at them that if there is no way to help us then just look tf down here where we are at the very least.

Everyone here was and is so important. Our existence may be a random chance but it was all we had. We are all so fucking important and I defy this uncaring universe to the very end.

 

[tonicer]

You put it into words what i thought so for many years. I'll never understand why sites like SASU are supposed to be hidden away. People like us need spaces to share our feelings too. I would love to be able to do it on more mainstream sites like reddit, youtube, twitch, etc. but even saying the words suicide and co. gets you banned or cancelled by the users.

We are broken and not normal yes but we are also humans and we deserve to be seen. Every time i read about another suicide somewhere in the world i think that if that person would have known about sanctioned suicide or sites like it that person might still be alive. I believe in reincarnation for a couple of years now and that killing myself would only mean i have to face the same curse again in what is probably a much worse situation and living conditions.

I was born in Germany and have the privilege to still live with my mother in any other place in the world i would have been kicked out by her. She is an angel and i hope she lives a long life.

 

[zdeweilx]

When humans were still hunters-gatherers, any tribesman who could no longer hunt properly because of physical or psychological conditions ended up getting left behind by the tribe, and he would eventually die soon after that because surviving in the wild used to be a very difficult task that couldn't be achieved without other humans.

I guess although humanity evolved, its core principles remained the same. If you can't keep things going, people will zoom past you instead of acknowledging your suffering. Unfortunately it seems to be a natural thing to do.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

When humans were still hunters-gatherers, any tribesman who could no longer hunt properly because of physical or psychological conditions ended up getting left behind by the tribe, and he would eventually die soon after that because surviving in the wild used to be a very difficult task that couldn't be achieved without other humans.

I guess although humanity evolved, its core principles remained the same. If you can't keep things going, people will zoom past you instead of acknowledging your suffering. Unfortunately it seems to be a natural thing to do.

Actually we've found a lot of archaeological evidence that hunter-gatherers and even Neanderthals did make an effort to care for their fellows that were disabled. I'm sure some were abandoned but the reason why we as a species survived besides our capacity to use tools is because of our social bonds.

Crazy that thousands of years later we had "ugly laws"... We've learned so much as a species and yet nothing that truly matters.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

When humans were still hunters-gatherers, any tribesman who could no longer hunt properly because of physical or psychological conditions ended up getting left behind by the tribe, and he would eventually die soon after that because surviving in the wild used to be a very difficult task that couldn't be achieved without other humans.

I guess although humanity evolved, its core principles remained the same. If you can't keep things going, people will zoom past you instead of acknowledging your suffering. Unfortunately it seems to be a natural thing to do.

"natural thing" ; yes, I tend not to see logic or rationality in this human behavior of ignoring suffering. The SI, for example, in an attempt to save someone, activates areas like the amygdala, which generates fear and automatic protective reactions. It's not exactly the other person that matters in this act. I only see the human species as another collection of organs. Just another mechanism within a mechanism. The individual will always be limited to their own mind and with a strong tendency to follow mass thoughts and behaviors. I don't see the slightest possibility of this changing. On the other hand, governments do this intentionally for a variety of reasons.