I was walking on street, just thinking about people, the people who i've said in previous posts, the ones who "shine", or have an "enlightenment" , that they figure life out, damn i was thinking of how much im starting to hate/envy this kind of people, of course is pity, is basically why not me ?, you know.
I know that some stuff can be like that cause of biology and our brains, but i was thinking of them, like some folks have said before in previous posts, i was thinking that maybe is not that they have everything figure out, is just that they "get it", is hard to put in words but, is like they see life and all their downs and ups, and they are ok ,like, "content", but not quite that, is like they understand the ups and downs are all parts of the process of life, that somehow it must be that way, not because if fair or destiny, is more they see everything in their life and they are ok, about stuff, about what's going and their currently situation, im growing to hate them, i guess is like what incels feel when they see pretty girls or etc…
But like i said i know it is a pity and pathetic to think about that, so i thought "i think about them too much, how about me ?", i guess i come to the realization that i right now don't like the process, like for example, if your goal is to achieve happiness, i guess for me there's not such thing as achieving happiness, you just live it you know, and having a life that is based on fulling a goal, and only when you get that, then you're happy, is probably a way to be miserable.
Life is the process itself, there's no end goal, like, if your life goal is to have a house, and you get it, what now ?, you know ?, you got the house but the movies didn't end yet, you still have the rest, also if you only try to be happy when you get there, does that mean all the previous moments of your life didn't matter ?
That makes me realize that I don't like the process, like I understand that life is not to get to a certain place, is the process, is the path that matters, but if i cannot find the path enjoyable and if there's no goal to get ?, what's the point, you know ?
I also thought about failures, like i was always down for them until i heard that "you shouldn't look for the wins, but look for the fails", cause the more you fail the more you achieve, and if you're ok by falling over and over, you will probably achieve lots more, that actually made me happy, cause if theres something i can do is fail, i know…
But them i realized that my lack is will, right know i dont have a will to continue, not because i dont believe things can get better, is just i dont care, cause i also know they get worse…, is like i said before and my whole thing about not enjoying the process, the path in general…
Cause the path, the happy and bad moments, well this is life you know, there's nothing more to process than this, but if it is this, and i just, dont enjoy it ?, like truly don't,and if there's not something else, what's the point ?
I know that some stuff can be like that cause of biology and our brains, but i was thinking of them, like some folks have said before in previous posts, i was thinking that maybe is not that they have everything figure out, is just that they "get it", is hard to put in words but, is like they see life and all their downs and ups, and they are ok ,like, "content", but not quite that, is like they understand the ups and downs are all parts of the process of life, that somehow it must be that way, not because if fair or destiny, is more they see everything in their life and they are ok, about stuff, about what's going and their currently situation, im growing to hate them, i guess is like what incels feel when they see pretty girls or etc…
But like i said i know it is a pity and pathetic to think about that, so i thought "i think about them too much, how about me ?", i guess i come to the realization that i right now don't like the process, like for example, if your goal is to achieve happiness, i guess for me there's not such thing as achieving happiness, you just live it you know, and having a life that is based on fulling a goal, and only when you get that, then you're happy, is probably a way to be miserable.
Life is the process itself, there's no end goal, like, if your life goal is to have a house, and you get it, what now ?, you know ?, you got the house but the movies didn't end yet, you still have the rest, also if you only try to be happy when you get there, does that mean all the previous moments of your life didn't matter ?
That makes me realize that I don't like the process, like I understand that life is not to get to a certain place, is the process, is the path that matters, but if i cannot find the path enjoyable and if there's no goal to get ?, what's the point, you know ?
I also thought about failures, like i was always down for them until i heard that "you shouldn't look for the wins, but look for the fails", cause the more you fail the more you achieve, and if you're ok by falling over and over, you will probably achieve lots more, that actually made me happy, cause if theres something i can do is fail, i know…
But them i realized that my lack is will, right know i dont have a will to continue, not because i dont believe things can get better, is just i dont care, cause i also know they get worse…, is like i said before and my whole thing about not enjoying the process, the path in general…
Cause the path, the happy and bad moments, well this is life you know, there's nothing more to process than this, but if it is this, and i just, dont enjoy it ?, like truly don't,and if there's not something else, what's the point ?
