Mara09
Tired
- Feb 6, 2021
- 41
I think it's ridiculous how badly people with mental illnesses get treated in society, but then people cry when they commit suicide. For example. I used to have (and still have to an extend) bad social anxiety and would often stutter, talk too quietly and start shaking because of it, generally my mind was often hazy and I was aloof, sometimes people just get mad at me for acting this way or treat me badly because of it. I know people hate the victim mentality, but it hurts, it's not like I'm harming anyone and I can't really control it. And the worst part is that getting treated this way just makes things worse for your mental illness, it's basically a cycle.
All my life there was one teacher (and I've been in plenty of schools, mind you) who actually bothered to send me to the school therapist, but other than that nobody ever bothered, was dismissve and although some were well-meaning they never really seemed to bother actually reaching out to help.
I've had a few situations where I broke down in front of my family and then they're worried for a day before going back to being nonchalant and seemingly uncaring, especially my mother. I still remember when one day she told me to stop pitying myself for getting bullied and being unhappy with myself when I finally confessed that I was getting bullied in school when I was like 14, it's like she was mad at me.
Tbh I feel like if I would've gotten help early enough I still might've had a shot at life, but now it's just too messed up and I'm pretty sure I have no choice but to ctb. I do feel bad for my family, though I can't deny I harbor a bit of a grudge.
Also another thing I've noticed is that you can't really criticise people or society becaue you'll just be called edgy. I've been treated like shit for so long because of factors out of my control by the most random of people and now I can't even complain about?
All my life there was one teacher (and I've been in plenty of schools, mind you) who actually bothered to send me to the school therapist, but other than that nobody ever bothered, was dismissve and although some were well-meaning they never really seemed to bother actually reaching out to help.
I've had a few situations where I broke down in front of my family and then they're worried for a day before going back to being nonchalant and seemingly uncaring, especially my mother. I still remember when one day she told me to stop pitying myself for getting bullied and being unhappy with myself when I finally confessed that I was getting bullied in school when I was like 14, it's like she was mad at me.
Tbh I feel like if I would've gotten help early enough I still might've had a shot at life, but now it's just too messed up and I'm pretty sure I have no choice but to ctb. I do feel bad for my family, though I can't deny I harbor a bit of a grudge.
Also another thing I've noticed is that you can't really criticise people or society becaue you'll just be called edgy. I've been treated like shit for so long because of factors out of my control by the most random of people and now I can't even complain about?