Venting The void is driving me crazy!

[Cookiedough8956]

There's this fucking void, and I just can't fill it. I don't know if it has to do with the fact I'm gonna CTB soon, or what. I can't enjoy anything, and I'm so damn tired all the time. Everday for some reason feels surreal, feels like I'm not even here, and this shit is freaking me out.
Things are in slow motion, way to steady and I feel dead- as if something changed and now its completely different.

You guys ever feel that way?

 

[silentsinger]

Yes, I am struggling a lot now and I already feel like I don't really exist. I am so frustrated with it and completely exhausted.

 

[throwaway777]

always extremely tired ... the surreality makes me dissociate so much ... i dont feel myself or the things around me ...too distant.. it s so scary ..the uneasiness i get from this hurts me a lot nothing feels normal and i always dream very weird things about violence and abuse ..i always cry it makes me want to kms so much more ..sorry for the confusion but ireally get what ure saying and im sorry that u too are feeling this

 

[silentsinger]

It's a bit like a living limbo isn't it? Knowing every morning when you wake up that there is more pain, suffering, anxiety and sobbing. I really hope things will turn around for you both.

 

[throwaway777]

It's a bit like a living limbo isn't it? Knowing every morning when you wake up that there is more pain, suffering, anxiety and sobbing. I really hope things will turn around for you both.

exactly its the same circle of suffering repeating itself over and over ... thank u i realli hope the same for u

 

[Cookiedough8956]

It's a bit like a living limbo isn't it? Knowing every morning when you wake up that there is more pain, suffering, anxiety and sobbing. I really hope things will turn around for you both.

Thanks, but that feels so unlikely at this point.
Tbh, I'd much rather have my mood swings, cause i hate feeling numb. of all things, its the worst for me!

 

[silentsinger]

I know what you mean and I'm sorry.

 

[EddieAllenPoe]

This will probably sound like complete bullshit but I recommend going on YouTube and listening to an audiobook reading of "A Course In Miracles".

I only recommend this because I know exactly how you feel and I have to admit... Every time I stare into "the void" I hear this stupid blue book speaking back to me.

I'm not really trying to recruit you into some kind of cult.... but... Hell, WHY NOT?!? If you're going to CTB, you might as well join a few cults on the way out. YOLO.

 

[Nihil]

Dang...this thread speaks volumes about how I feel most nowadays. Thought it was just a symptom of major depression or a side-effect of Zoloft, but yeah...everything just feels surreal. Feels like I'm supposed to be dead already, but I'm still alive. Feel like I'm in a limbo state, don't really do much anymore aside from live on the computer (and submit endless job applications) and sleep. Always, always, always sleepy. Always want to sleep more. Like, something's snapped in me, and it's just hard for me to care about anything or do anything else anymore. In a way, it kind of alleviates me of psychological suffering, but it's sorta turned me into a hermit. Just don't want to do stuff anymore and just wanna rest in this nihilistic void of mine. My void strangely comforts me way more than scares me for whatever reason.

 

[Memento Mori]

Thanks, but that feels so unlikely at this point.
Tbh, I'd much rather have my mood swings, cause i hate feeling numb. of all things, its the worst for me!

that's normal. doesn't mean it's impossible, you can make it possible or impossible. wish you the best :)
i have a hard time understanding numbness, i guess i know the feeling but i still have my borderline-styled rollercoaster mood changes, i dont really enjoy the good feelings and i feel the bad ones stronger. someone wants to explain total numbness? (on a more intense way, not just "you don't feel anything when you should feel something")

 

[Psilo]

There's this fucking void, and I just can't fill it. I don't know if it has to do with the fact I'm gonna CTB soon, or what. I can't enjoy anything, and I'm so damn tired all the time. Everday for some reason feels surreal, feels like I'm not even here, and this shit is freaking me out.
Things are in slow motion, way to steady and I feel dead- as if something changed and now its completely different.

You guys ever feel that way?

Same

The only thing I focus lately is to plan my death, as pathetic as it sounds.