Story The turning point

[Deleted member 1465]

I will share with you the turning point in my life. Its a bit weird.

1997. I was working on a volunteer archaeological excavation in the UK. Camping on site, heading to the pub every evening. My priorities were beer and sex. I got together with a lovely young lady from the village. After a night in her company, I was walking back along the track to the campsite.

I did what I often used to do after a few beers and an enjoyable night. I lay down and looked up at the stars. It was in the countryside with no light pollution. All the stars were out and I could see the Milky Way sweeping across the sky.

I had one thought and it had two sides and it was this:

This is the best moment of my life.

I at once felt happiness and also profound sadness. I knew I'd reached my zenith and everything would be downhill from there.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

I will share with you the turning point in my life. Its a bit weird.

1997. I was working on a volunteer archaeological excavation in the UK. Camping on site, heading to the pub every evening. My priorities were beer and sex. I got together with a lovely young lady from the village. After a night in her company, I was walking back along the track to the campsite.

I did what I often used to do after a few beers and an enjoyable night. I lay down and looked up at the stars. It was in the countryside with no light pollution. All the stars were out and I could see the Milky Way sweeping across the sky.

I had one thought and it had two sides and it was this:

This is the best moment of my life.

I at once felt happiness and also profound sadness. I knew I'd reached my zenith and everything would be downhill from there.

I am struggling to relate

 

[FullFat]

I will share with you the turning point in my life. Its a bit weird.

1997. I was working on a volunteer archaeological excavation in the UK. Camping on site, heading to the pub every evening. My priorities were beer and sex. I got together with a lovely young lady from the village. After a night in her company, I was walking back along the track to the campsite.

I did what I often used to do after a few beers and an enjoyable night. I lay down and looked up at the stars. It was in the countryside with no light pollution. All the stars were out and I could see the Milky Way sweeping across the sky.

I had one thought and it had two sides and it was this:

This is the best moment of my life.

I at once felt happiness and also profound sadness. I knew I'd reached my zenith and everything would be downhill from there.

Two years ago, I had an experience that was both similar to and different from yours. I had been suicidal for half of my life then and had been a certified pessimist for as long as I could remember, but never before had my hopelessness seemed so certain and unquestionable. It was like I had been trying to work out a puzzle all of my life and the final piece slid into place. What was different about my experience is that it was less that I was happy and more like I felt that I should be happy and wasn't. I was exactly where I had planned to be. I had accomplished everything I had worked toward for years. To all appearances, I should be joyous and excited and proud and hopeful. In that moment, I could name nothing that I would have done differently - and yet I wanted to die more than I had ever wanted in my life. I frantically combed through memories of the last year, in which I had had some of the happiest days, to identify what had gone wrong, but that got me nowhere. All I knew is that happiness had slipped through my fingers and would never be found again.