Discussion The stigma around suicide

[justfloating]

This is an unaddressed suicide note I wrote about suicide itself. I am writing personal notes as well but I want to get this out to people so they hopefully look at the stigma around suicide in another light. Idk I figure it might help initiate change, even if just a little bit.


The right to choose whether I am alive or not should be my human right. I'm not saying suicide should be available for everyone as soon as they've had a bad day. However, it should be decriminalised so people are able to make their own choice to have a peaceful and dignified death.

When people think about suicide they think of people throwing themselves in front of trains, putting a bullet in their head, jumping of bridges, and it is horrible the lengths people are forced to go to. So many people are pro choice when it comes to babies, ending the lives of other living beings, yet when people dare to consider ending their own lives they are shamed and pushed out of society until they actually do it. It is cruel to force people into a life they don't want, purely because you cannot understand the suffering some people are going through.

I never got to say proper goodbyes to people, to hug people I cared about one last time and tell them everything will be okay. If I had mentioned to anyone what my intentions were, I would have been held captive yet again until people people once again believed the act I was putting on. I was forced to die cold and alone because people are so afraid of grief they chose for me to be in misery instead. No-one wants to die alone, but for some reason people think suicidal people deserve it.

People are so quick to post about mental health after a celebrity kills themselves, but they are never willing to be there for people when they need all the support they can get. Instead of teaching my friends how to cope with the stress and be able to be there for me, my college told the people I cared about to cut me off. This feeling of being alone because so engrained in my mind that I don't feel I can ever reverse it.

When someone suicidal confides in you, you can not out it off until another day, you cannot hope the problem will just disappear. Every suicide is different but in my case I chose to do this because I feel I will never feel happiness again, I feel empty and alone in a room of those I'd consider my friends.

 

[faust]

"I feel empty and alone in a room of those I'd consider my friends", - that's very strong!
I wonder if I make my suicide note epic or more realistic.
If epic, it would be loads of drama and myriads of pain;
If realistic, it would be something like I came to psychiatrist first.
But I liked yours! Although it will never be a part of your text.

 

[justfloating]

"I feel empty and alone in a room of those I'd consider my friends", - that's very strong!
I wonder if I make my suicide note epic or more realistic.
If epic, it would be loads of drama and myriads of pain;
If realistic, it would be something like I came to psychiatrist first.
But I liked yours! Although it will never be a part of your text.

I just feel like no-one cares until caring makes them look good

 

[Largeletters]

A fascinating post. I agree with what you said, and your last sentence was especially touching.

I just feel like no-one cares until caring makes them look good

I definitely agree with this, too.

 

[faust]

I just feel like no-one cares until caring makes them look good

Vanity will never be vanished from people's minds, we have to admit we live in such a world.

 

[justfloating]

Vanity will never be vanished from people's minds, we have to admit we live in such a world.

I know that my old best friend is gonna make herself the centre of attention after I do it. She did it after a person she talked to once passed, and we were friends for six years. I understand people will grieve but to use another persons suicide to make yourself interesting is sick

 

[a.n.kirillov]

What you said is true. All the campaigns to 'destigmatize' mental 'illness' serve imo a very insidious function that is never talked about; namely, to label yourself insane, to stigmatize yourself; in exchange (and as long as you comply with the institutions of psychiatry and it's terminology) you get some of the benefits of a sick person; you exchange the claim on your rationality and the validity of your judgements/ perceptions for better treatment (you are not a criminal or a immoral lazy bad person anymore but a sick person).

Destigmatization and all this mental health awareness stuff is only positive on the surface. It's like saying to gay people: "if you admit to being gay and voluntarily undergo conversion treatment we won't burn you at the stake anymore".
.

Honestly: I prefer the Catholic Church to psychology/ psychiatty because 1. they are at least openly homophobic and discriminating and 2. they admit the world is shit (they call it the problem of evil); in cognitive behavioural therapy they try to make you believe you live in the best of all possible worlds and that it's just your 'distorted cognitions' that make you suffer. I would like to say they are deluded but it's more insidious than that; it's a function of the mechanism itself, to put the blame on you.

Sorry these topics get my blood boiling I swayed off the topic again

I just feel like no-one cares until caring makes them look good

Or if it makes them feel bad feelings. If they have to take an honest look at the situation (which you force them to do if you disclose your inner struggle) they resent you for it; that's why they openly deny, push away, hand you over to authorities, etc etc... It's hard to be reminded of the fragility and the hard facts of Life, that it can grind you down, that we will all die; that maybe you even failed the person who is suicidal and feel guilt, about it. And people don't want all of that they want to stay comfortable, they want to stay right where they're at in their cozy bubbles. I don't blame them

 

[justfloating]

What you said is true. All the campaigns to 'destigmatize' mental 'illness' serve imo a very insidious function that is never talked about; namely, to label yourself insane, to stigmatize yourself; in exchange (and as long as you comply with the institutions of psychiatry and it's terminology) you get some of the benefits of a sick person; you exchange the claim on your rationality and the validity of your judgements/ perceptions for better treatment (you are not a criminal or a immoral lazy bad person anymore but a sick person).

Destigmatization and all this mental health awareness stuff is only positive on the surface. It's like saying to gay people: "if you admit to being gay and voluntarily undergo conversion treatment we won't burn you at the stake anymore".
.

Honestly: I prefer the Catholic Church to psychology/ psychiatty because 1. they are at least openly homophobic and discriminating and 2. they admit the world is shit (they call it the problem of evil); in cognitive behavioural therapy they try to make you believe you live in the best of all possible worlds and that it's just your 'distorted cognitions' that make you suffer. I would like to say they are deluded but it's more insidious than that; it's a function of the mechanism itself, to put the blame on you.

Sorry these topics get my blood boiling I swayed off the topic again

Or if it makes them feel bad feelings. If they have to take an honest look at the situation (which you force them to do if you disclose your inner struggle) they resent you for it; that's why they openly deny, push away, hand you over to authorities, etc etc... It's hard to be reminded of the fragility and the hard facts of Life, that it can grind you down, that we will all die; that maybe you even failed the person who is suicidal and feel guilt, about it. And people don't want all of that they want to stay comfortable, they want to stay right where they're at in their cozy bubbles. I don't blame them

its so stupid tho. I think many people who feel suicidal also feel like they don't have anyone, and so for people to cut them off for feeling suicidal is cruel. make no mistake, I can only imagine the stress and worry those who I did tell felt, but they made conscious decisions to worsen my situation. people just hope I won't do it but without change I may be forced to

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Please don't get me wrong... I know these mechanisms are 'evil', that it's torturous to be on the other end of such treatment.

But then I think back to when my grandfather gradually succumbed to dementia and how I stopped visiting him (even when he was on his death bed I was so egotistical not to visit him, because it was too much for m e to see him in that state) and I can't blame them. It's a systemic issue. As soon as euthanasia is made legal for all adult citizens the stigma won't matter anymore.

 

[justfloating]

Please don't get me wrong... I know these mechanisms are 'evil', that it's torturous to be on the other end of such treatment.

But then I think back to when my grandfather gradually succumbed to dementia and how I stopped visiting him (even when he was on his death bed I was so egotistical not to visit him, because it was too much for m e to see him in that state) and I can't blame them. It's a systemic issue. As soon as euthanasia is made legal for all adult citizens the stigma won't matter anymore.

Its the hypocrisy of people that twists the knife tho. These people told me how they would be there for me, they weren't t going to cut me off, they cared about me and didn't want me to CTB. But all their actions show is, I don't give a shit about you kill yourself if you want. And as they say, actions speak louder than words.

I don't think it will ever be legalised, sadly. The people with all the money and power need us to be their little minions that society can manipulate, and if they give us an easy out then they sacrifice their control

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Its the hypocrisy of people that twists the knife tho. These people told me how they would be there for me, they weren't t going to cut me off, they cared about me and didn't want me to CTB. But all their actions show is, I don't give a shit about you kill yourself if you want. And as they say, actions speak louder than words.

I don't think it will ever be legalised, sadly. The people with all the money and power need us to be their little minions that society can manipulate, and if they give us an easy out then they sacrifice their control

I'm sorry you have to go through that; that we all have to go through that. All we can do is try to put up a fight, become active in the movement, try to educate people. I have to disagree with you, the cause is far from hopeless; just two days ago the German federal court made a big decision in favour of assisted suicide; in Switzerland Pegasos is pushing the boundaries on euthanasia and many other European countries are opening up to the idea.

Of course there's a certain irony in trying to arouse hope within the most hopeless demographic of all, but we can't give up without putting up a fight. If there's anything you can do (even if it's just sharing articles with friends or on Facebook) you should do it; even just exercising your freedom of speech on this forum is an act of civil disobedience and protest.
.

German Court Overturns Ban on Assisted Suicide (Published 2020)

The decision came after a group of doctors, patients and proponents sued, arguing that a 2015 law infringed on their constitutional right to make decisions about their own lives.

www.nytimes.com

 

[justfloating]

I'm sorry you have to go through that; that we all have to go through that. All we can do is try to put up a fight, become active in the movement, try to educate people. I have to disagree with you, the cause is far from hopeless; just two days ago the German federal court made a big decision in favour of assisted suicide; in Switzerland Pegasos is pushing the boundaries on euthanasia and many other European countries are opening up to the idea.

Of course there's a certain irony in trying to arouse hope within the most hopeless demographic of all, but we can't give up without putting up a fight. If there's anything you can do (even if it's just sharing articles with friends, on Facebook) you should do it; even just exercising your freedom of speech on this forum is an act of civil disobedience and protest.
.

German Court Overturns Ban on Assisted Suicide (Published 2020)

The decision came after a group of doctors, patients and proponents sued, arguing that a 2015 law infringed on their constitutional right to make decisions about their own lives.

www.nytimes.com

my worry is that if I start advocating for pro-choice people will recognise that im still feeling suicidal, and I cannot go through that again.

thats good for Germany though. my only worry is that it will only be available for people with physical illnesses, as they think all mental illness and suicide ideation can be 'cured'

 

[a.n.kirillov]

my worry is that if I start advocating for pro-choice people will recognise that im still feeling suicidal, and I cannot go through that again.

thats good for Germany though. my only worry is that it will only be available for people with physical illnesses, as they think all mental illness and suicide ideation can be 'cured'

Do it anonymously, write, become a member of dignitas or exit, donate, etc ...

And yeah at first it will be tolerated only for terminally ill people; we just have to keep pushing relentlessly until it is accepted as a basic human right!

 

[justfloating]

Do it anonymously, write, become a member of dignitas or exit, donate, etc ...

And yeah at first it will be tolerated only for terminally ill people; we just have to keep pushing relentlessly until it is accepted as a basic human right!

I feel that if/when they do it there might be a surge of people who do it. But in the long run when people know they have access to a safe and peaceful death, it would massively reduce impulsive suicide, and maybe even reduce suicide generally because people won't have to go to these extreme lengths which they can become fixated on.

I don't feel suicide will ever be accepted due to others fear of grief, not realising the person in there're remembering in their head is already gone