the sheer boredom of this place

[Darkover]

the sheer boredom of this place is enough to make anyone want to die
same old shitty music and films nothing interest me i can't play video games due to a brain injury
the only thing i can enjoy now are drugs i've been crippled for 7 years, i use to be a programmer and enjoyed that very much
but can't even do that anymore its a sad state of affairs that i can't enjoy my life anymore for 7 long years
i am bed bound without antipsychotics and i can't do anything to take the boredom away without money to buy drugs mainly weed but coke aswell
i just wish i could kill my self instead of having to live this horrible way my life is just a series of disasters after another
i wish i was never born in the first place it would of been better than this lifetime here i don't see the world has being something beautiful
but the exact opposite its forever soaked in the blood of the innocent it's a hellhole nothing forever would be better than any of this so called life on this planet

 

[FuneralCry]

Being a prisoner to this existence truly is something that is undesirable and repulses me, this world where we cannot instantly free ourselves truly is hell. It's true that existing is so tedious and futile, I could never see any value in delaying the inevitable just to suffer even more unnecessarily in the process. The existence of life is certainly a horrifying, cruel mistake, it really is an undeserved punishment to have the ability to exist here.