TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,707
When did your distrust and dislike for humanity and mankind (in general, not necessarily at individuals or certain groups of people) start? Mine started when I was rather young. I never really had many good experiences with other people in general and most of my life, I oftenly find myself going solo (which can be a good thing in some cases; not so much in others).
So back when I was in third grade, I had someone who lied to me about trading a bag of doritos for a pokemon game (back when pokemon red/blue/yellow was popular) and I fell for it. Sure, it was my fault and I was naive (then again most kids are; I am no exception). He later of course took the doritos but never allowed me to play his game. I was upset about it. Of course, this realization came when I was much older, maybe in high school or almost college aged.
Another time was when some students in middle school were being rather dishonest and trolled me by saying that if I had only been present in class that day (long story), I'd get a candy bar and everyone that was around did. But since I wasn't present at that time of the day (whatever/why is irrelevant), I didn't get it. So the students told me, well they didn't have enough to share (which I sense is bullshit, because based on math it doesn't add up. Keep in mind I didn't have much critical thinking back then, but even so, I could sense something wrong just based on math and simple logic). Since there were let's say 25 students and 25 candy bars, but since I wasn't here, there was 24 students instead of 25, so logically and mathematically there should have been 1 candy bar left, but when I returned, there was none. So logically, it's that the teacher and the students lied and said they ran out (when in fact either the teacher ate it or just pretended there wasn't one more; hid it away, threw it away, etc.). I mean yes, a candy bar isn't really the issue here; it's the dishonesty, disingenuous, and illogical reasoning that really rubbed me the wrong way.
3rd example is when I was at church (my parents took me and my sister to church when we were kids) and there was this person who used guilt trip and shame to silence my grievances. I think you could guess what I mean, it was the "starving african children" appeal to worse problems/fallacy of relative privation. Again, as someone who is just in middle school and didn't know about logical fallacies, I still felt offended because I realized that I was being minimized, dismissed, and being invalidated (even before I knew what 'invalidation' meant). In some ways, I would say my Aspergers and autism put me ahead of others in some areas in life, but in many other areas, really hampered me. Anyways, back to the point though, I didn't take it too well and I had ill feelings towards that person. Sometime early high school my parents stopped taking us to church because they wanted me and my sister to focus on other activities but mostly academics (to get into good colleges). So with that said, yeah people who invalidate and appealed to worse problems just rubbed me the wrong way; because it's a way of them saying, "your problems are irrelevant and there are worse people out there so just sit down and shut up and appreciate what you have!"
4th example is when I was in my senior year of high school, me and my friend played a online game together and he as well as I discovered how shitty people are online. If they are given a chance to fuck others over, they will do it in a heart beat (I guess it's human nature). I had the realization at age 16-17 at the time and I just resented humanity even more and it was so bad that I just kept to myself as well as he. We both lived in our own worlds but that's another story for another time. At any rate, so in that game, there was some glitch that allowed players to attack other players in areas that aren't supposed to be pvp. We both concluded that if there was a worse glitch or exploit people would do it to fuck others' over because it was too tempting. Maybe it's just human nature and if it is, then I am rather disgusted and ashamed to be a part of the human race, further adding to my efilism, misanthropy, and wanting to CTB.
Granted these were just really mild cases, there are so many, many more instances in which things were more intense and worse, thus fueling my misanthropy towards humanity in general. Ever since then, I've always viewed humanity in a negative light. Sure, there were some instances of positive interactions with humans in general, but the positives (in my opinion and experiences) don't outweigh the negatives. I had experienced more negative outcomes than positive outcomes, some of which were my fault (so I'd accept that part), but then there are many that are out of my control.
What are your stories and when did your roots of misanthropy start?
So back when I was in third grade, I had someone who lied to me about trading a bag of doritos for a pokemon game (back when pokemon red/blue/yellow was popular) and I fell for it. Sure, it was my fault and I was naive (then again most kids are; I am no exception). He later of course took the doritos but never allowed me to play his game. I was upset about it. Of course, this realization came when I was much older, maybe in high school or almost college aged.
Another time was when some students in middle school were being rather dishonest and trolled me by saying that if I had only been present in class that day (long story), I'd get a candy bar and everyone that was around did. But since I wasn't present at that time of the day (whatever/why is irrelevant), I didn't get it. So the students told me, well they didn't have enough to share (which I sense is bullshit, because based on math it doesn't add up. Keep in mind I didn't have much critical thinking back then, but even so, I could sense something wrong just based on math and simple logic). Since there were let's say 25 students and 25 candy bars, but since I wasn't here, there was 24 students instead of 25, so logically and mathematically there should have been 1 candy bar left, but when I returned, there was none. So logically, it's that the teacher and the students lied and said they ran out (when in fact either the teacher ate it or just pretended there wasn't one more; hid it away, threw it away, etc.). I mean yes, a candy bar isn't really the issue here; it's the dishonesty, disingenuous, and illogical reasoning that really rubbed me the wrong way.
3rd example is when I was at church (my parents took me and my sister to church when we were kids) and there was this person who used guilt trip and shame to silence my grievances. I think you could guess what I mean, it was the "starving african children" appeal to worse problems/fallacy of relative privation. Again, as someone who is just in middle school and didn't know about logical fallacies, I still felt offended because I realized that I was being minimized, dismissed, and being invalidated (even before I knew what 'invalidation' meant). In some ways, I would say my Aspergers and autism put me ahead of others in some areas in life, but in many other areas, really hampered me. Anyways, back to the point though, I didn't take it too well and I had ill feelings towards that person. Sometime early high school my parents stopped taking us to church because they wanted me and my sister to focus on other activities but mostly academics (to get into good colleges). So with that said, yeah people who invalidate and appealed to worse problems just rubbed me the wrong way; because it's a way of them saying, "your problems are irrelevant and there are worse people out there so just sit down and shut up and appreciate what you have!"
4th example is when I was in my senior year of high school, me and my friend played a online game together and he as well as I discovered how shitty people are online. If they are given a chance to fuck others over, they will do it in a heart beat (I guess it's human nature). I had the realization at age 16-17 at the time and I just resented humanity even more and it was so bad that I just kept to myself as well as he. We both lived in our own worlds but that's another story for another time. At any rate, so in that game, there was some glitch that allowed players to attack other players in areas that aren't supposed to be pvp. We both concluded that if there was a worse glitch or exploit people would do it to fuck others' over because it was too tempting. Maybe it's just human nature and if it is, then I am rather disgusted and ashamed to be a part of the human race, further adding to my efilism, misanthropy, and wanting to CTB.
Granted these were just really mild cases, there are so many, many more instances in which things were more intense and worse, thus fueling my misanthropy towards humanity in general. Ever since then, I've always viewed humanity in a negative light. Sure, there were some instances of positive interactions with humans in general, but the positives (in my opinion and experiences) don't outweigh the negatives. I had experienced more negative outcomes than positive outcomes, some of which were my fault (so I'd accept that part), but then there are many that are out of my control.
What are your stories and when did your roots of misanthropy start?