Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,182
So, I know they love me. Love isn't the question here. What it is, is abusive dynamics. My family means well. I know they would be there for me in a heart beat if anything happened. But they can be abusive. To each other mostly and dismissive of feelings. I have been feeling dismissed as of late.
My grandmother, she is a sweet soul. But she can be insanely controlling. Maybe its just a grandma thing, but she loves hearing my voice everyday. However, she had a fight with the family in front of my brother and I can't forgive that. Since then I haven't been talking to her as much. She's been worried that I hate her. It's not that simple, I just don't condone abusive behavior
She is also insanely paranoid. If she doesn't get on to me or my brother or dad, she goes nuts (abusive mom is out the picture because she died from concur 2 years ago). She will be frantic and want to come over and see if we are ok. It's so embarrassing that it drives me nuts. My dad tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. But I don't know how someone saying "I was calling just to make sure your not dead" is healthy
Reality is, my family acts in two ways. One is acting abusive, and the other is enabling. I see the dynamic play out every day. As far as I see it, I am done
I love you guys (my family). I really do. I know you guys love me. You all might not show it in the healthiest of ways, but I know it's there. But you guys are toxic and unhealthy and I have to keep my distance. As for you grandma, I'll try to be there when I can. But please know that I am my own person. That is all.
My grandmother, she is a sweet soul. But she can be insanely controlling. Maybe its just a grandma thing, but she loves hearing my voice everyday. However, she had a fight with the family in front of my brother and I can't forgive that. Since then I haven't been talking to her as much. She's been worried that I hate her. It's not that simple, I just don't condone abusive behavior
She is also insanely paranoid. If she doesn't get on to me or my brother or dad, she goes nuts (abusive mom is out the picture because she died from concur 2 years ago). She will be frantic and want to come over and see if we are ok. It's so embarrassing that it drives me nuts. My dad tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. But I don't know how someone saying "I was calling just to make sure your not dead" is healthy
Reality is, my family acts in two ways. One is acting abusive, and the other is enabling. I see the dynamic play out every day. As far as I see it, I am done
I love you guys (my family). I really do. I know you guys love me. You all might not show it in the healthiest of ways, but I know it's there. But you guys are toxic and unhealthy and I have to keep my distance. As for you grandma, I'll try to be there when I can. But please know that I am my own person. That is all.