ChildrensITV
Arcanist
- Mar 14, 2023
- 455
I have been depressed and anxious for over 2 decades. I have tried everything I could to make my life good. And when I knew I couldn't make it good, I tried to make it comfortable. And then I realized I couldn't even make it comfortable. Everything I have tried has resulted in failure. Anything good that has happened either failed or lead to some hope that was then dashed. It's been years since I had belief that I could be comfortable in this life - so I went about life on autopilot.
Another recent occurrence of hope being dashed was a wakeup-call that autopilot isn't working anymore, and that I should not have to live with the indignity of a life that isn't worth living. Bedridden. Unmotivated. Unable to shower. Depressed and failing all week, to make it to the weekend where I can drink alcohol to try to quieten my soul - which I have built a tolerance to anyway. I am far too broken to keep this charade going.
I thought my only option was to be depressed, resentful towards the people around me for wanting me to live, anxious, and haunted. I was on r/suicidewatch and it was no comfort at all. Sure, there, people had problems but none that were driving them to the edge of despair. You couldn't talk about any suicide plans there. The same old platitudes were repeated over and over, as if they help. As if they have never been heard before. Ironically, the person who tipped me over the edge recently through no fault of their own was the one who had let me know about Sanctioned Suicide months before.
I came here and suddenly, suicide was back on the table. This site gave me the option of discussing my true feelings. Of exploring my true thoughts, however dark they went. Of allowing me to put an end to a life that I loathe. The prolifers are right. SaSu did give me the option of suicide. It gave me a method. It gave me the empowerment to decide if I have had enough. It has not forced me carry suicide out. It has not encouraged me to do it. It said simply: "you can, if you need to".
What you prolifers don't realize is that you are not helping us. You curtail our freedoms by reporting websites. You take our methods away. You make it so we have no place to talk openly and freely, unless it's under the censor-heavy, gaslighting policing of your people. But you don't make our pain dissolve. You don't fix us. You just isolate us. You trap us in a life that we don't want, with your sanctimonious, virtual-signalling, holier-than-thou, patronizing treatment of us.
"I've been sad before and got over it, so you shouldn't be allowed autonomy over your own body. There is no way you have thought about this enough. You don't know what you're doing". Even if I were to feel slightly better in 10 years from now, why is that justification for why I should stick around now? I don't believe life is inherently good. It's a gift I didn't consent to. Why can't I choose what I do with my body? Why is it any of your business? I am not telling you what you can and can't do.
The prolifers are right about Sanctioned Suicide. They are wrong about suicide. All SaSu did was give me the freedom to choose.
Another recent occurrence of hope being dashed was a wakeup-call that autopilot isn't working anymore, and that I should not have to live with the indignity of a life that isn't worth living. Bedridden. Unmotivated. Unable to shower. Depressed and failing all week, to make it to the weekend where I can drink alcohol to try to quieten my soul - which I have built a tolerance to anyway. I am far too broken to keep this charade going.
I thought my only option was to be depressed, resentful towards the people around me for wanting me to live, anxious, and haunted. I was on r/suicidewatch and it was no comfort at all. Sure, there, people had problems but none that were driving them to the edge of despair. You couldn't talk about any suicide plans there. The same old platitudes were repeated over and over, as if they help. As if they have never been heard before. Ironically, the person who tipped me over the edge recently through no fault of their own was the one who had let me know about Sanctioned Suicide months before.
I came here and suddenly, suicide was back on the table. This site gave me the option of discussing my true feelings. Of exploring my true thoughts, however dark they went. Of allowing me to put an end to a life that I loathe. The prolifers are right. SaSu did give me the option of suicide. It gave me a method. It gave me the empowerment to decide if I have had enough. It has not forced me carry suicide out. It has not encouraged me to do it. It said simply: "you can, if you need to".
What you prolifers don't realize is that you are not helping us. You curtail our freedoms by reporting websites. You take our methods away. You make it so we have no place to talk openly and freely, unless it's under the censor-heavy, gaslighting policing of your people. But you don't make our pain dissolve. You don't fix us. You just isolate us. You trap us in a life that we don't want, with your sanctimonious, virtual-signalling, holier-than-thou, patronizing treatment of us.
"I've been sad before and got over it, so you shouldn't be allowed autonomy over your own body. There is no way you have thought about this enough. You don't know what you're doing". Even if I were to feel slightly better in 10 years from now, why is that justification for why I should stick around now? I don't believe life is inherently good. It's a gift I didn't consent to. Why can't I choose what I do with my body? Why is it any of your business? I am not telling you what you can and can't do.
The prolifers are right about Sanctioned Suicide. They are wrong about suicide. All SaSu did was give me the freedom to choose.
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