Help The problem of location

[exhausteduntreatable]

I would like to hear others thoughts on this.

I am leaning towards SN, even though it doesn't sound that pleasant and seems somewhat difficult to procure in Canada. Being in the high 70 pound range (as long as I can avoid medical intervention) with very low bp and heart rate seems like it would facilitate this method.

I don't want to ctb at home even though it would be pretty perfect. I work nights and my dad works days. I would have all of the hours he is at work to do myself in but I don't want him to be the one to find my body.

A nice hotel would be ideal but I don't want the cleaning fee to clear out the savings I am leaving for my dad and probably make him pay additional out of pocket as well. I thought about doing it at work when I have the entire department to myself overnight. In the locked bathroom possibly. There is the possibility of interference there though by other staff in the building. So I thought I could leave shortly after the shift starts and do it outside, fairly close by, in a place with some cover. The possibility of discovery is there as well though. And there is the weather problem. Our winters are freezing. Up to -50. That could help me along or make me back out potentially if it doesn't happen smoothly. Waiting until after Christmas is already a big strain. Things don't begin to defrost for a long time. Or I could say to hell with all this and jump from one of our bridges.

 

[Ash]

You could leave a note on your bedroom door saying to call the police and don't open? Maybe lock it or block it so it would need a few people to get in?

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

You could leave a note on your bedroom door saying to call the police and don't open? Maybe lock it or block it so it would need a few people to get in?

It's funny because that's exactly what I was thinking of doing but I'm almost certain he would come in anyways in the hope that I was still alive and something could be done. That thought horrifies me.

He's the sort of person who would call them while chopping into the door with an axe even if I constructed some kind of block. No lock and he would notice if I tried to install one. He's watching me carefully lately. Guess it could be done the day of but I don't like that time press. I also don't want him to sell the house after because I tainted it. He's my biggest consideration in all this and it's really painful.

 

[in pain]

Maybe a bathroom at any public place that is one of those single toilets with a lockable door. It would have to be a low traffic place/time of the day so that I don't get interrupted.

Or I could go with a camping tent, and get some warming packs that snowboarders use to heat their hands if it is cold. I would choose a nice location in the woods.

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

Maybe a bathroom at any public place that is one of those single toilets with a lockable door. It would have to be a low traffic place/time of the day so that I don't get interrupted.

Or I could go with a camping tent, and get some warming packs that snowboarders use to heat their hands if it is cold. I would choose a nice location in the woods.

The woods sounds really nice actually. Always felt a kinship with those Japanese people in Akihabara forest. It would take some planning and logistics since I can't drive and for the longest time my routine has simply been home - and work- and to the grocery store - repeat. Anything else arouses immediate suspicion.

I think the locked bathroom at my work at night would probably work. It's just dingy and depressing though. I despise that place. A suitable end to my shitty life haha.

 

[in pain]

The woods sounds really nice actually. Always felt a kinship with those Japanese people in Akihabara forest. It would take some planning and logistics since I can't drive and for the longest time my routine has simply been home - and work- and to the grocery store - repeat. Anything else arouses immediate suspicion.

I think the locked bathroom at my work at night would probably work. It's just dingy and depressing though. I despise that place. A suitable end to my shitty life haha.

Yes having a beautiful view and being in nature would bring my mind to peace in my final moments as opposed to a bathroom. I have never setup a tent, so I would probably practice that a few times. If people ask me why I am doing that, I would just tell them that it's a new hobby and I enjoy being in nature.

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

Yes having a beautiful view and being in nature would bring my mind to peace in my final moments as opposed to a bathroom. I have never setup a tent, so I would probably practice that a few times. If people ask me why I am doing that, I would just tell them that it's a new hobby and I enjoy being in nature.

I would prefer to be in nature too. I have once or twice but badly so would definitely need the practice as well.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

I'm also considering my last place, so as to speak.. either the toilet or hotel, though I'm reluctant to use the latter. Going out with SN as well and I guess the hospital toilet in the evening will work. Either way, it's a very messy business.

 

[exhausteduntreatable]

I'm also considering my last place, so as to speak.. either the toilet or hotel, though I'm reluctant to use the latter. Going out with SN as well and I guess the hospital toilet in the evening will work. Either way, it's a very messy business.

I'm struggling to find SN. It looks like all of the suicide reports have made it more difficult. Would absolutely love nembutal. Seems like the best possible method. But that's even harder. It's so unfair that we are pushed into a corner where we have to die in hospital bathrooms or look for bridges to hastily jump off of. Insult to injury.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

I'm struggling to find SN. It looks like all of the suicide reports have made it more difficult. Would absolutely love nembutal. Seems like the best possible method. But that's even harder. It's so unfair that we are pushed into a corner where we have to die in hospital bathrooms or look for bridges to hastily jump off of. Insult to injury.

Yeah. I kinda guessed it might come to that sadly..