Venting The Price of the Future

[Certain.Magic]

Hey guys! First thread of mine right after joining and a vent thread gets to have the honor heh. I'm probably going to do a bunch of these since I like talking about these kinds of things.. Now moving on:

At what point can I consider my future worth less than my present and past combined? For me it roughly translates to when it should be apparent hitching the bus ride is just more profitable be it in a monetary or emotional way. Is it once I know for sure the effort it would take to fix everything is too astronomical? Is it the amount of times I've wronged people and myself? After all how do we compare anything with strict potential? As for me I think I've realized subconsciously that I will never be able to live the life I envisioned nor a life I could ever be content with but I often ask myself what that exact point is. I guess it depends after all. All I know is the moment you consider your future worth less than your past and present combined the decision has been made over your life. And yea, I have made my decision over my life a while ago. This is just me going through the motions and enjoying every last second of it.

 

[KarmicRain]

emotional: I think this just comes down to what you define as meaning/worth. if it's being happy, i think that's just something that mathematically isn't possible for a human being to overcome. if you spend 8 hours working and 4-8 hrs sleeping, you'd still have 8-12 hrs left to just exist. ideally all of that time would be spent doing something that makes you feel like the time you've spent was worthwhile. You'd think being productive would accomplish that (like learning a new language or skill), and it can if you have the motivation to do so. The actions themselves won't make you happy but the sense of accomplishment would for a short period of time.
monetary: I don't think people live for money itself moreso than what it can buy. maybe you could become filthy rich by piling a godamn mountain of bodies in your wake but would it really be worth it? even if you lived solely to amass wealth and became a billionare, I think you'd just end up empty with no choice but to keep amassing wealth to fill the gaping void in your chest.
regret: Mistakes happen and it's important to learn from them, but they can't ever be taken back. the idea of potential comparisons is just theorycrafting and won't always result in something you like. Sure you can make plans and planning is good for specific periods of time: it's different when you're trying to make something for the rest of your life. shit hits the fan sometimes and there won't be anyone to hold your hand. it sucks and i hate it. on the other hand, if you're able to exert the effort i think it's possible for the future to be better. that is, if better is good enough for you. I don't think "better" is enough for anyone since humans are just innately insatiable (there's no such thing as permanent satisfaction in relation to existing)

 

[Certain.Magic]

emotional: I think this just comes down to what you define as meaning/worth. if it's being happy, i think that's just something that mathematically isn't possible for a human being to overcome. if you spend 8 hours working and 4-8 hrs sleeping, you'd still have 8-12 hrs left to just exist. ideally all of that time would be spent doing something that makes you feel like the time you've spent was worthwhile. You'd think being productive would accomplish that (like learning a new language or skill), and it can if you have the motivation to do so. The actions themselves won't make you happy but the sense of accomplishment would for a short period of time.
monetary: I don't think people live for money itself moreso than what it can buy. maybe you could become filthy rich by piling a godamn mountain of bodies in your wake but would it really be worth it? even if you lived solely to amass wealth and became a billionare, I think you'd just end up empty with no choice but to keep amassing wealth to fill the gaping void in your chest.
regret: Mistakes happen and it's important to learn from them, but they can't ever be taken back. the idea of potential comparisons is just theorycrafting and won't always result in something you like. Sure you can make plans and planning is good for specific periods of time: it's different when you're trying to make something for the rest of your life. shit hits the fan sometimes and there won't be anyone to hold your hand. it sucks and i hate it. on the other hand, if you're able to exert the effort i think it's possible for the future to be better. that is, if better is good enough for you. I don't think "better" is enough for anyone since humans are just innately insatiable (there's no such thing as permanent satisfaction in relation to existing)

I never even considered the point of our nature to be insatiable but I wholly agree. It is just a flawed equation from the start. Thank you for replying anyways it's nice to ponder about these things with someone ^^

 

[PurPurAstie]

For me, I considered my whole life already a waste after leaving kindergarten. I'd guess for other people it would be after loosing important people/things in their life. It hit me even harder than it already was.