Venting The pain in my head is agonising

[Hans Voralberg]

My mind is in agony. I have only negative thoughts in my head i feel so lonely and in pain. I said goodbaye to my friends I write them in easter wishes that death never separate us from the loved ones from the people that are close to us. They should understand when i will CTB that this was a goodbaye so i won't leave them in emotionall emptiness without goodbaye. I feel so tired and in fear of simply exist. It is so fucking painfull i feel physical pain in my head and chest and i am in anxiety mode once again.
My alcoholic father send me a card for Easter i shouldn't open it why i did it i don't know he never loved me. I miss dad who never exist. I cried two times today.

 

[DPJ187]

I heard you mate, get some weed and try to slow down your thoughts, smoke or eat yourself into a stupor and then let you're mind wander then, you will find the pain and the noise stops if only briefly. If it works consider getting a video game or something to play while you are high, nothing online something like witcher 3, fallout 4 or even skyrim just something to throw yourself into, overall it wont change much but it does give you a bit of respite from your mind.

Peace be with you

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you are going through, it must be unbearable. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I hope you find relief from your pain in whatever happens.

 

[rationaltake]

So sorry. Nobody should suffer this way. I wish you some respite.