Venting The only reason

[GhostedToast]

Everything keeps getting worse. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I was close to and only earlier tonight did I find out that he was with someone else in the past month that he had been with someone else while barely talking to me. Early September I found out my moms cancer progressed and that she had to start chemo. Last week she had surgery to implant a portacath so they wouldn't have to continually try to find a new vein to start an iv to avoid her veins possibly collapsing. I started an internship and now that i started that i kight lose my job even though I'm doing the internship as a part of school and i was told when I was hired that it would be acceptable but that seems to have changed. Despite my mom also working at the same store and almost every team leader there knowing she has cancer they still get upset despite me informing them when it progressed that I'd likely miss time to stay by her in hopes it helps her and being told it would be acceptable. The only reasons I've not killed myself is because I made a promise to a friend that I'd tell them before I try anything and so I'd know my mom would keep fighting. I ended up cutting myself again despit having been a little over 3 months clean and I'm just done. I'm pissed at myself and everything is going to shit. So far the only thing I really have going is the internship and even that had ended up costing me some friends because they were only accepting a few students. At this point I'm just waiting for the one thing to push me over the edge.