
Defatigatis
Sincerely exhausted
- Aug 16, 2022
- 14
I live with my brother, I consider him to be someone with a similar intellectual depth and empathy to me... until we get to the subject of suicide and my reasons for it.
He keeps telling me that if I do it, I'll end up being reincarnated on this cursed planet and I'll have to "fulfill" the stages or outstanding debts I have here, because according to him and his beliefs, everything in the universe has an "exchange"...if that's the case, why don't I have a reason for being here in this cursed place where individualism and selfishness prevail? And if I really did do something to be here, then why would "God" put someone who stole an orange in the same cell as an individual who destroyed the lives of several people? Why do the most profound need to teach the most backward, when around 99% of the most imbecilic don't want to learn and prefer to remain in their ignorance?
It seems that there's no way around it....I haven't yet forced an end to my stay in this place because....there are beings who need me, or rather, my financial benefits that I have from my dead parents, and which unfortunately my brother and my kittens also depend on. And unfortunately there's no one else he can count on. I hope that by the time my benefits run out he'll at least have found a job, so that way i can leave in peace knowing that at least the three of them won't be in dire need.
Sorry if some words are out of place, english is not my native language.
He keeps telling me that if I do it, I'll end up being reincarnated on this cursed planet and I'll have to "fulfill" the stages or outstanding debts I have here, because according to him and his beliefs, everything in the universe has an "exchange"...if that's the case, why don't I have a reason for being here in this cursed place where individualism and selfishness prevail? And if I really did do something to be here, then why would "God" put someone who stole an orange in the same cell as an individual who destroyed the lives of several people? Why do the most profound need to teach the most backward, when around 99% of the most imbecilic don't want to learn and prefer to remain in their ignorance?
It seems that there's no way around it....I haven't yet forced an end to my stay in this place because....there are beings who need me, or rather, my financial benefits that I have from my dead parents, and which unfortunately my brother and my kittens also depend on. And unfortunately there's no one else he can count on. I hope that by the time my benefits run out he'll at least have found a job, so that way i can leave in peace knowing that at least the three of them won't be in dire need.
Sorry if some words are out of place, english is not my native language.
