Venting The never ending struggle of fitting in.

[gravesfrommiami]

So im probably posting this in the wrong thread (If I am then I apologize) but sometimes I think and wonder, whats the point of even trying to fit in into a society where no matter what I do or how I do it its just never enough. I remember for the longest time I always tried to be like other people. Act like them, dress like them, behave like them, yet no matter how many times I did it or the way that i did it I was always made fun for it. All I ever wanted to do was try to fit in with everyone because I wanted to feel like I mattered with the rest of the people around me but I always failed. Over the years my anxiety and depression got worse and it got to a point where I tried CTB a few times but I would never go through with them half the time because of fear and SI. And even now I'm socially isolated from the rest of society and have no real way contact to any of my friends I grew up with over years. Sometimes i think this is the punishment i deserve for even being born, as if maybe all of this was decided by fate and all is going accordingly to plan. I don't know anymore honestly I don't think i want to know I'm surprised not dead at this point to be honest…



If you cared to read all of this then Thank You.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I think what you're describing is very common among the people here. Lack of belonging and alienation/isolation are very common themes here. At least I can definitely relate.

 

[YourAverageLurker]

Agreeing with the post above, definitely relatable.
Thank you for putting my thoughts into words.

 

[charlotte_]

i can totally understand that. im sorry you feel that way, and im sure many of us here feels the same. i think you've found the solution for yourself, which is just stop giving a fuck. ppl wont change, so dont change for them. just do whatever you feel well with, dress however you like. the loneliness could be unbearable but i think its better than trying to achieve smth that is almost impossible to be achieved. but rlly tho, i hope you could find yourself a better environment and better ppl. im srry if this sounds insensitive, if it does then i genuinely dont mean that way and i just hope the best for you. best wishes!

 

[clicmsf]

So im probably posting this in the wrong thread (If I am then I apologize) but sometimes I think and wonder, whats the point of even trying to fit in into a society where no matter what I do or how I do it its just never enough. I remember for the longest time I always tried to be like other people. Act like them, dress like them, behave like them, yet no matter how many times I did it or the way that i did it I was always made fun for it. All I ever wanted to do was try to fit in with everyone because I wanted to feel like I mattered with the rest of the people around me but I always failed. Over the years my anxiety and depression got worse and it got to a point where I tried CTB a few times but I would never go through with them half the time because of fear and SI. And even now I'm socially isolated from the rest of society and have no real way contact to any of my friends I grew up with over years. Sometimes i think this is the punishment i deserve for even being born, as if maybe all of this was decided by fate and all is going accordingly to plan. I don't know anymore honestly I don't think i want to know I'm surprised not dead at this point to be honest…



If you cared to read all of this then Thank You.

I totally relate to you. To be able to fit in, unfortunately you need to provide something special which again unfortunately most of the times is how you look. Looks are mostly determined by genetics and people with unpleasant looks will be bullied and made fun of while doing the things that everyone does. Reading books is nerdy for unattractive and beating and smart for the attractive. Being an introvert for unattractive is being weird and creepy while attractive comes as mysterious. So the first and most important thing to fit in is your genetics which are out of our control. The second most important one is having money. If anyone lacks both of these, being respected by others becomes impossible, sure there will be people who will like us but it's solely out of pity and never respect. This is the rule of the cold unfair nature that we live in

 

[warmsand]

I completely understand this feeling. I've never fit in anywhere, not a single time in the 19 years I've spent alive. Being socially isolated is so fucking hard, I hate it. I tell myself I don't want to be around all these shitty people but at the same time I hate it. It's so isolating. I wish humans weren't social creatures so my isolation wouldn't hurt as much as it does.

I am sorry you are going through this. I really know how tough and confusing this can be. Sending you peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's true that not everyone is meant for this world, and I just think the unfortunate reality is that humans certainly can be very insensitive, you simply cannot rely on them. It's better to be alone as long as one exists here as other people just create more problems.