Venting The misery of a lost existence

[Painless_end]

You just lay back and close your eyes. Wishing you would be carried away in your sleep.

The sadness of taking another breath when you are no longer mentally a part of this world.

A deep desire that you should have acted differently when you could.

A deep longing for the peace of non-existence.

A prayer, not for money or a job or love.

A prayer, that knowing every step will be pain, so praying for slipping forever into the void.

But no one answers your prayers. And you remain on this plane, having to watch your life crumble in front of your eyes.

There are no tears left. Only emptiness.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also wish for eternal sleep. It just sounds so peaceful to not exist. Life is just unnecessary suffering and I look forward to the day in which it will all finally end.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

You just lay back and close your eyes. Wishing you would be carried away in your sleep.

The sadness of taking another breath when you are no longer mentally a part of this world.

A deep desire that you should have acted differently when you could.

A deep longing for the peace of non-existence.

A prayer, not for money or a job or love.

A prayer, that knowing every step will be pain, so praying for slipping forever into the void.

But no one answers your prayers. And you remain on this plane, having to watch your life crumble in front of your eyes.

There are no tears left. Only emptiness.

Who you were slips away

Every moment less and less

Your voice less and less an empty rasp
Your feelings blank

Your wounded heart a quivering ache

You long for less

You long for silence

You close your eyes

Your thoughts casting back to every single error

when you were a child and felt different

You were fearful

You were sad and lonely

You were ignored and no one listened to you

You found a life or thought you had at moments

You fooled yourself and others into thinking maybe you'd finallly freed yourself

But the darkness was always there …

A dark sludge flowing through you

Others could see you had fallen behind

Others building lives while you were treading water, happy drugs blinding you to failure

She finally figured it out and found something better, could see you were floundering …

And that's when the truth broke through …

And you realized what had really happened …

Every single lie you'd told yourself like branches snapping

Your body falling

The delusions stripped away

You're nothing ….

You are autonomic

Ignoring friends, not even listening to messages … nice to know they care ….

You've quit but still persist …

You close your eyes again … hoping for sleep … this can't go on forever but for now …

A cadaver with blood still pulsing

 

[IanUK]

You just lay back and close your eyes. Wishing you would be carried away in your sleep.

The sadness of taking another breath when you are no longer mentally a part of this world.

A deep desire that you should have acted differently when you could.

A deep longing for the peace of non-existence.

A prayer, not for money or a job or love.

A prayer, that knowing every step will be pain, so praying for slipping forever into the void.

But no one answers your prayers. And you remain on this plane, having to watch your life crumble in front of your eyes.

There are no tears left. Only emptiness.

Every single night I pray I will die in my sleep. I wake up and my first thought is oh god not another day. Every day for me gets harder as I count the days and hope for death. I've spoken to "specialists" over the years and they can't help me because in sane and sensible. Intelligent and healthy but I simply don't fit in this world. Everything about the modern world makes me angry. I've always been misanthropic and have always had very few friends or acquaintances. I'm blunt about it so people think I'm rude but reading these lives sums me up. So again tonight it will be please Lord take me tonight because everyone I ever cared for is dead and gone on ahead even my cat who was my soulmate went in May. I feel I'm treading water waiting to go.