The message spread in the clinic and everyone is blaming me even the staff for her suicide the feeling is unimaginable

[noname223]

The feeling is unimaginable. The Borderline woman cried when I talked.

Holy Shit. This is hell. You can't imagine how I feel. I think some of them feel Schadenfreude. However, I don't think this will drive me to commit suicide. It is similar to when my grandad died. The funeral was a living hell.

I think this will make me go more online on SanctionedSuicide. The people here don't blame me. You cannot believe this feeling. A whole clinic blames you for someone's suicide. And Well I think they have now expectations on me if you know what I mean. But I want a rational suicide.

I don't think this will break me but I am not sure. My life is a living nightmare can someone of you save me?

I triggered people in this clinic for suicidal people am I now responsible if they ctb?

I think it is obvious which answer I want. No staff member asked me to talk. I am a little bit isolated. There Was this guy who has extreme Issues and this Borderline woman. Tbh I have the feeling the first one is in extreme Issues and has no other way out of his pain. The Borderline woman is...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I might caused someone accidentally to ctb in real life

I know I already did such a thread but here is the short version. I am in a clinic for suicidal people. We are all pretty suicidal. And we should not talk about suicide. No Staff member ever talked to me I was confused. This clinic in general is a hell hole for my mental health. I was pretty...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I might caused someone accidentally to ctb in real life

I know I already did such a thread but here is the short version. I am in a clinic for suicidal people. We are all pretty suicidal. And we should not talk about suicide. No Staff member ever talked to me I was confused. This clinic in general is a hell hole for my mental health. I was pretty...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I feel too ashamed to leave my room.
Is the silence a sign you all consider me guilty too?

My life feels unreal. I often think I live in a simulation. Unimaginable Things happened in my life. This is the second time I get blamed for someone's death.

The last days in the clinic will be a living nightmare.

 

[noname223]

Bump
Maybe the guilt will eat me from within. Slowly but surely. I have experienced severe traumatas my whole life also as a child. I noticed the ones as an adult did not break me that much. I am a broken person. But I think I don't have it in my mind to commit suicide now. I reminds me of the bullying when I was a teenager because I was obese. When the bullying stopped, I lost weight.

Now everyone expects me to commit suicide but I don't think this happen now. I think it will happen one Day but not now. If I could time travel I would Do it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel awful for you but, it's difficult to know what else to say. I don't think you did cause this woman's death- from what you've said. I'm not even sure the people at the clinic think that or, if you're being overly paranoid that they do. If they truly thought you were that much of a danger to other patients, I would think they would isolate you for safety reasons

It's hard to say really. On the one hand, maybe we can 'read' people well. Sometimes if we have a feeling a person is thinking this or that about us, we might be right. Other times, we are way off though.

Have they warned you not to discuss suicide again for instance? That would be more suggestive that they think it may be detrimental to the other patients.

If it's more that you think people are giving you funny looks or, acting stangely around you- that could be for a whole lot of reasons. Everyone there is obviously dealing with a whole lot of shit. A suicide by someone they recently had contact with could well upset them- regardless of whether they think you are to blame or not. I can't see how they could though really. it's not like you were bullying anyone. You just talked about something they then realised they weren't comfortable with. How long do you have to stay there for?

 

[noname223]

I feel awful for you but, it's difficult to know what else to say. I don't think you did cause this woman's death- from what you've said. I'm not even sure the people at the clinic think that or, if you're being overly paranoid that they do. If they truly thought you were that much of a danger to other patients, I would think they would isolate you for safety reasons

It's hard to say really. On the one hand, maybe we can 'read' people well. Sometimes if we have a feeling a person is thinking this or that about us, we might be right. Other times, we are way off though.

Have they warned you not to discuss suicide again for instance? That would be more suggestive that they think it may be detrimental to the other patients.

If it's more that you think people are giving you funny looks or, acting stangely around you- that could be for a whole lot of reasons. Everyone there is obviously dealing with a whole lot of shit. A suicide by someone they recently had contact with could well upset them- regardless of whether they think you are to blame or not. I can't see how they could though really. it's not like you were bullying anyone. You just talked about something they then realised they weren't comfortable with. How long do you have to stay there for?

I think I am out tomorrow. I will have a conversation with the highest doctor tomorrow and this will be uncomfortable as hell.

They did not warn me.

 

[Unspoken7612]

While it's hard to say for sure, you seem to be projecting your own feelings of guilt onto the other patients. They probably don't blame you, as there doesn't seem to be any link. Remember, this person was only in there with you because they were already suicidal, and they were let out by medical professionals who judged that they weren't a risk to themselves. In those circumstances, no reasonable person would blame a short conversation they had much earlier with another patient.

This person died. That's bad. It makes sense that you are upset. But don't feel guilty or responsible. You are not.

 

[noname223]

While it's hard to say for sure, you seem to be projecting your own feelings of guilt onto the other patients. They probably don't blame you, as there doesn't seem to be any link. Remember, this person was only in there with you because they were already suicidal, and they were let out by medical professionals who judged that they weren't a risk to themselves. In those circumstances, no reasonable person would blame a short conversation they had much earlier with another patient.

This person died. That's bad. It makes sense that you are upset. But don't feel guilty or responsible. You are not.

Thank you this means so much to me.

 

[noname223]

My roommate thinks it is all paranoia. Noone blames me for her death in the clinic.

 

[noname223]

Not guilty the woman killed herself prior to my conversation about suicide with the other patients. 1,5 hours before we had this talk.

I am innocent. Damn.